


In What Way Do I Forget You?

by cloudnaut



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Awkward Romance, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hybrid Choi Beomgyu, Hybrid Huening Kai, Hybrids, Journalist Choi Yeonjun, M/M, Minor Huening Kai/Kang Taehyun, POV Alternating, Past Abuse, Past Violence, Personal Growth, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Student Kang Taehyun, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:06:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24075661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudnaut/pseuds/cloudnaut
Summary: One night, Soobin unexpectedly runs into an injured and fearful hybrid boy. Their first meeting is brief and makes both of them uneasy. However, as the days pass, Soobin finds it impossible to forget the boy. He becomes determined to meet the hybrid again and help him escape from what haunts him.Alternatively, Soobin becomes extremely attached to a random, seemingly runaway/homeless boy he met in an alleyway. Just when he starts thinking they're never going to meet again, the hybrid boy shows up and asks for Soobin's help. The two boys unknowingly begin a life together full of lively friendships, dark pasts, and lots of awkward romance.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu & Choi Soobin, Choi Beomgyu/Choi Soobin
Comments: 48
Kudos: 137





	1. On His Own

_I feel safe, on my own._

_In this place, on my own._

_This way, better this way._

**1.**

The door rattled violently, the old lock struggling to keep it shut.

Soobin flinched, nearly dropping all of the packs of instant noodles he held in his arms. The door kept shaking, the silver bell above it ringing every time the corner of the door hit it even slightly. Soobin’s initial shock quickly turned into annoyance. He turned away from the shelf and walked towards the entrance of the general store, instant noodles still cradled in his arms.

“We’re closed!” He called, attempting to wave off the pair of drunken boys standing outside with his free hand. They didn’t budge, one of them still holding on to the door handle as if it would unlock itself at any moment. Soobin sighed and tried hard not to roll his eyes. “Closed! Come back tomorrow!” he said with finality.

Soobin turned back around, returning to the shelf of instant noodles. Hopefully, by ignoring the intoxicated pair, they’d finally get the message and leave. Muffled, angry mumbling could be heard from right outside the store before gradually beginning to fade into the distance. Soobin rolled his eyes then and sighed. Finally, they left. 

_Business is slow all night and you people show up right after I close. Of course._

After midday, the flow of people entering and exiting the store greatly decreased. Soobin’s boss, the owner of the general store, had told him when he first started that he would be the only one working the night shift due to the fact that business was extremely slow after a certain hour. At first, Soobin had been nervous about working a shift alone. Soobin could only imagine all the things that could go wrong during his shift and how he would be the only one there to deal with it. Not just that, but he wasn’t really looking forward to being by himself at night in an old store located in a hidden neighborhood surrounded by pretty much nothing but bars. He couldn’t even begin to imagine all the types of strange people he might meet in the dark of the night.

However, as the weeks passed, his anxieties about going to work began to ease. Soobin quickly learned that the eight hour shift was nothing but dull. He spent most of his time sitting behind the counter, scrolling through his phone, reading a book, or doing school assignments. The occasional customer would pop in to buy snacks to fulfill their late night cravings. Tipsy people would stumble in now and then, but not as frequently as he had originally feared. At some point, he actually started wishing for some action.

Soobin finished stocking the instant noodles and broke down the cardboard boxes he'd pushed off to the side. He tucked the flat boxes under his arm and did one last walk around the store, reassuring himself that he'd completed all of the closing tasks. He straightened a few things here and there and finally circled back to the front counter. A sigh of relief escaped Soobin's lips as he confirmed it was finally time for him to head home.

The boxes began slipping from under his arm. Soobin readjusted them as he switched off all the lights, plummeting himself and the store into near darkness, the emergency exit and other signs illuminating the space with soft, multicolored light. He dug around in his pocket for the keys to the back door of the store as the hum of the refrigerators filled his ears. Once his keys were in his hand, Soobin input the store's alarm code and headed outside into a wide alley, closing the door behind him loudly. 

It was a bright night. The gentle, pale light of the full moon washing over the alley behind the general store. Without having to pull out his phone’s flashlight, Soobin locked the door with the key he'd just pulled out and wiggled the doorknob a few times, a habit he'd formed over the months while working the closing shift. He spun the keys around his index finger as he walked towards the dumpster, looking upwards.

Soobin looked for the moon, but couldn’t see it. The buildings on either side were too high and blocked out the moon. He couldn’t help but feel a little sad. Soobin had always loved the moon. It was beautiful in indescribable ways and it always brought him comfort. He tossed the cardboard boxes into the dumpster thoughtlessly, preoccupied with looking at the visible stars in the sky. There were few, but the ones that did stand out sparkled brightly. Perhaps he was just tired and happy to be free from work, but Soobin became easily distracted by the night sky, losing focus of his surroundings. He walked without really looking, his body simply following the same path he would take every night.

He had just looked away from the sky, focusing his attention back on the alley and the main road ahead of him, when a sound came from behind him. Soobin was mid step when he heard the noise. He froze and slowly put his foot down. Something had skittered across the uneven ground back near the dumpster. The noise was light and metallic sounding. An empty can?

A few days ago, Soobin’s boss had mentioned that some raccoons had been digging through the dumpster, to keep an eye out for them and let him know if they were hanging around again. Of course, Soobin immediately wondered if the raccoons were in the dumpster now. Soobin looked over his shoulder to see if he would catch a glimpse of whatever made the noise. A frown settled onto his face. Soobin began to wonder if he should go back and scare off the raccoons or leave them alone and just go home. 

_I really don’t get paid enough to be dealing with this._

As he thought, Soobin came to the realization that he had never encountered a raccoon before and that facing one for the first time in a dark alleyway with no quick escape was probably one of his worst ideas ever. He quickly made up his mind after this thought process, deciding to ignore the racket and leave. But the universe had other plans for him.

Before he could take another step, Soobin heard something else coming from the direction of the dumpster. In fact, the sound came from inside. It was louder, deeper. The sound of something heavy and solid falling against the side of a half full dumpster.

Soobin’s ears reacted to the noise, pulling back on their own. He could feel the muscles in his neck tense up. His eyes widened slightly. It was as if all of his senses had magnified and become ten times more sensitive to their surroundings. He was scared. He waited. Soobin didn’t want to move. Whatever was in that dumpster was clearly not just a fat raccoon looking for scraps to munch on. 

The last thing Soobin wanted to do was go back and look inside the dumpster. He quickly decided that if he heard nothing else, he would once again pretend like nothing happened and go on his way. But if he did hear another thud, it felt like an obligation to check out what was in the dumpster even though it was probably yet another of his most stupid ideas ever conjured.

He waited and waited. It felt like minutes although only mere seconds had passed. Each second felt charged with energy, like whatever was in the dumpster would jump out and strike at Soobin’s back. More time passed. A cricket chirped nearby, undisturbed by the beast in the green container and the distressed human standing motionless in the alley. Suddenly, another sound came from behind Soobin.

It was a soft sound, similar to the sound of leaves dancing in a light breeze. But that moment was nowhere near as pleasant as the gentle movement of leaves in the wind. Soobin quickly identified the noise as the rustling of plastic trash bags. The bags were being moved around by whatever was in there. The crease in Soobin’s brow deepened. Those bags were heavy, heavy enough that a guy as tall as Soobin even had some trouble throwing them over the edge into the dumpster. This meant that the beast in the dumpster was large and strong. It had enough strength to push around full bags of trash. There was a pause, the rustling stopped and then another loud bang resonated in the alleyway, followed by a pained gasp.

Soobin’s body reacted almost instinctively to the sound of the gasp. He turned his whole body towards the dumpster and stood still yet again. A person? There was a person in there? Knowing there was a person in the dumpster didn’t make the situation any better nor did it make Soobin feel any safer. He might have been taller and broader than most people, but Soobin had absolutely no fighting experience and rarely worked out. Although he hated to admit it, he had very little strength and the last thing he wanted to do was face a person crazy enough to dig around in a dumpster. A person like that must have no fears.

It was getting late. Somewhere deep in Soobin’s soul, he remembered that all he really wanted to do was get home and rest. Feeling like the night was starting to drag on, Soobin made up his mind to end this once and for all. It was hard to convince his body to advance forward but he figured a person could be reasoned with while a beast could not. He kept this in mind as his heavy legs slowly carried him towards the open dumpster.

The moon’s light didn’t reach into the dirty container. Soobin found himself needing to use his phone’s flash. The light trembled slightly as he pointed it towards the dumpster.

Without wanting to get too near the edge of the dumpster, Soobin stood on the tips of his toe and peered in, aiming the light at the black garbage bags. A quivering breath escaped from Soobin’s nose. His heart began to race faster, so fast he could physically feel it beating against the inside of his chest. His eyes glanced over a pair of legs, pale and scratched up, stretched out over several bags. The thin boy inside had his shoulder pressed up against the side of the dumpster, leaning most of his weight on the metal wall. He was struggling to regain his balance. Soobin did nothing but stare wide-eyed, speechless at the scene in front of him.

The boy noticed the light from Soobin’s phone immediately. He became frantic, kicking at the bags, ripping them up in the process. It was clear he wanted to push the trash away from him in order to get better footing and escape from the inside of the dumpster. But trash spilled out of the bags as he tore them, making it even more difficult for him to stand. The boy started scratching at the sides of the dumpster. Soobin promptly backed away once he saw that the boy managed to wrap his fingers over the edge and was pulling himself upwards. 

As the boy stood, a million thoughts flashed through Soobin’s mind. 

Anyone would immediately recognize that this boy had been living on the streets for a while. The boy was filthy. His skin was covered in dirt and scratches, especially his hands and arms. The boy’s hair was matted in some places, dark and very long, covering his eyes. He wasn’t dressed for the weather. He had on a pair of loose, dark colored shorts and an oversized, what once had been white short sleeve shirt. The boy’s body shook. It could have been due to the cool night weather, the fear of a stranger having cornered him in a dumpster, or both. 

Unkempt. Terrified. Injured. Digging through trash presumably looking for something to eat.

These were shocking observations. But what Soobin found even more difficult to comprehend was why a hybrid would suffer through all of this.

The boy’s nonhuman features had immediately stood out to Soobin when he first saw him. From under his dirty hair, two floppy, black dog ears flattened against the boy’s skull, the positioning of the ears signifying fear and stress. The hybrid boy’s features were scrunched, his nose wrinkled and teeth bared, exposing sharp canines among his other teeth. Soobin wasn’t able to see it now since the boy had stood up and faced him, but earlier he had caught sight of a short, thick tail protruding from the boy’s lower back.

The scared boy in the dumpster was a dog hybrid. 

Hybrids were regarded with respect in society. Most lived comfortable lives. In fact, many indulged in luxury and prestige. Being described as a pet was inappropriate and offensive. Instead, hybrids were referred to as guests of the household they lived in and if the term guest seemed too detached to them, hybrids were considered family. 

Having children was especially difficult for hybrids. Therefore, hybrid children were even more special and well taken care of. The hybrid boy that stood in the dumpster was no child, but he was young. Soobin guessed he might be a few years younger than him, in his late teens and on the cusp of adulthood. This was the age when hybrid parents and their human family would throw parties and overindulge the teens in a celebration of their life before sending them off to college, their new household, or whatever next big step they were taking.

Abandoned hybrids, mistreated hybrids, feral hybrids, runaway hybrids—Soobin had only ever heard stories like these on the news. Stories that took place in foreign places far, far away from Soobin’s old and boring neighborhood.

Something must have happened to this hybrid. Soobin wanted to know the boy’s story, but seeing how he was doing everything possible to try and scare Soobin away, calming the boy down enough to have a conversation didn’t seem likely.

It finally dawned on Soobin that he had been pointing his phone’s flash right at the boy’s face. He struggled to turn it off, his finger sliding over the screen and pressing everything but the flashlight icon. Once Soobin had finally managed to turn the light off, his arm fell to his side, firmly grasping his phone in his fist. He looked up at the boy and met his intense gaze.

The moon’s light washed over their features. Although the boy’s hair messily covered a large part of his face, Soobin could make out a sharp nose and pink lips that trembled with agitation. It was almost imperceptible, but the boy seemed to calm down after Soobin turned off the light. His knuckles, which had been white as he tightly held onto the edge of the dumpster, became a normal skin tone again.

Soobin’s mouth was dry. He licked his lips a few times, trying to get words out into the air. 

“A-are you okay? I heard you fall against the dumpster,” Soobin had kept moving backwards and was pressed up against the building on the opposite side of the dumpster. It would only take Soobin a few steps to close the distance between them, but at the moment he sort of wished the brick wall behind would absorb him.

The hybrid boy said absolutely nothing. If anything, his gaze sharpened and he became more guarded.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Soobin swallowed cold air. “To be honest, I think I’m just as scared as you are,” an involuntary, nervous laugh left his mouth.

He was met by silence once more. The hybrid shifted his weight and stumbled, nearly falling back onto the trash bags. Without thinking, Soobin took a few steps forward, reaching out towards the boy. He stopped himself, however. Soobin had nothing but good intentions, but he knew the boy may not know or understand that. He froze where he stood and waited as the hybrid regained his balance, returning his piercing glare onto the human boy that stood in front of him.

Soobin could only imagine what the boy was thinking. He was standing in a metal container. His only form of escape was to jump out and run to either end of the alley, out onto the main road. But the dumpster was tall and he might trip once he jumped out. If he tripped, the human boy might grab him, keep him from running, and possibly hurt him. He needed an opening, but he wasn’t seeing any. The hybrid obviously didn’t care for any of the words that left Soobin’s mouth, he just wanted to leave.

Soobin was at a loss as well. Was it right to just let the hybrid boy run away again? To let him suffer alone? The hybrid was obviously hungry, injured, and would soon fall ill if he didn’t find something warmer to wear. At the same time, he feared that the hybrid would hurt him. The situation was becoming tense and Soobin couldn’t think of a way to defuse it.

A single thought suddenly emerged amongst the multitude of others that ran through Soobin’s mind.

“Wait,” Soobin’s head tilted to the left as he thought out loud, “were you in there when I threw the trash out earlier?”

His voice came out softly, mostly just talking to himself rather than asking the question directly to the hybrid. Earlier, before closing the store, he had gone out to throw trash, belting his favorite song at the top of his lungs. Remembering this, Soobin felt heat rise to his face. He knew that if it were brighter outside, the boy opposite him would easily be able to see the tips of his ears flare hot red.

Both of the boys looked away from each other, one embarrassed that someone might have caught him singing loudly and terribly and the other feeling slightly amused.

“Yes,” the hybrid boy whispered the single word.

Soobin almost didn’t hear it. He whipped his head back around to face the boy, delighted that he had actually responded. As Soobin opened his mouth in an attempt to keep the conversation going, an abrupt crash came from one end of the alley. The hybrid boy jolted, panic appearing on his face once more. Something large and solid was thrust across the ground towards them, but before it came to a full stop, the boy jumped over the edge of the dumpster and landed on the ground unsteadily. 

Noise filled Soobin’s ears and his eyes had a hard time keeping up with everything going on around him. He caught sight of the hybrid boy regaining his balance, stumbling as he ran further away from him into the darkness of the alleyway. At the end closest to Soobin, a group of drunk men stumbled around, laughing and yelling at each other over the crates they had just knocked down. The thing that had moved towards Soobin and the boy had just been a black crate, but it had been enough to bring fear back into the hybrid’s body and compel him to run.

Soobin wasn’t able to stop him. He had been so flustered and confused that he hadn’t even made a move to keep him from running. Disappointment flooded his entire body at the realization that he would probably never see the boy again.

The drunken group was still hanging around the alley. Soobin suddenly kicked the crate nearest to him and started yelling.

“Hey! You gonna help me pick these up? No? Then go away! Making a mess for what? You bunch of drunk idiots! Go away before I call the police on your asses! Fucking go!” Soobin kept kicking the crate in front of him until it slammed against a pile of crates that was still standing and sent them all crashing to the ground.

The men caught one look of Soobin’s towering figure and quickly retreated. Once they were gone, the unexpected anger Soobin felt was gone in an instant, leaving him feeling empty and drained of energy. 

His eyes skimmed over the crates littering the ground, but he wasn’t really seeing them. All he saw was the boy’s face. The hybrid boy and his fearful eyes and his cautious stance. All Soobin could hear was his gentle whisper, his quiet reply— _“Yes.”_

Soobin turned. The direction in which the boy had run was empty. He was long gone now. 

_Are you okay all on your own?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics at beginning from "Better Safe Than Social" by The Last Artful & Dodgr
> 
> Hi, cloudnaut here.  
> Thank you for reading the first chapter of my new story! It's the first story I _actually_ publish in two years (not due to lack of ideas, not at all haha).
> 
> Anyway, any and all feedback is greatly appreciated! I really would love to hear your thoughts and opinions, it greatly encourages me to keep working on my dumb stories. 
> 
> You can find me on twitter [here.](https://twitter.com/writegyu)
> 
> Please look forward to the next chapter~


	2. Looking For Him Pt. 1

_But if one day you find me_

_And now you think differently_

_I'll save you a little bit of faith_

_To open my eyes and see you_

**2.**

Soobin didn’t remember how he got home.

It was almost as if one moment he had been in the alleyway picking up crates and placing them back against the wall and the next moment he was undressing in his bedroom, getting ready for bed. 

Soobin moved around in a daze. He showered, brushed his teeth, and felt around in the dark for the old shorts he wore to bed. As he pulled back the sheets on his bed and slipped under them, resting his head on the pillow, his mind was occupied with nothing but thoughts of the hybrid boy. He gazed at the ceiling without blinking and was finally brought back to Earth when his phone screen lit up. Soobin blinked and turned onto his side, reaching out for his phone.

It wasn’t a text message, but just a low battery notification. He felt around on the ground for his phone charger. His fingers brushed over the cord and he pulled it up, plugging his phone in. Soobin turned back over onto his back and closed his eyes, letting out a deep sigh.

_Stop thinking so much. Just go to sleep. Go to sleep…_

No matter how much Soobin chanted to himself, his mind remained alert and awake. He flipped over in his bed countless times—trying to sleep on his back, his stomach, his sides. Soobin rolled back and forth from the left side of his bed to the right side. At one point, frustrated that nothing was working, he wildly kicked off his sheets. When he got too cold, he pulled them back up and wrapped himself tightly, like a caterpillar in a cocoon. 

The longer he lay in his bed, the more restless he became. Soobin decided to get up and get something to drink from the kitchen. He didn’t turn on any lights, navigating the small apartment with ease. Once he had a glass of water in hand, Soobin took a few steps towards his old couch and sat down. The couch was placed perpendicular to a glass sliding door that opened up to a small enclosed balcony. The large windows of the balcony overlooked the narrow, well-lit streets below.

Meeting the hybrid boy had shaken him. He’d never had an experience like that before in his life. Now, Soobin could only think about how the boy was somewhere out there, wandering around the town. As Soobin took slow sips of his water, he began to wonder why the boy was so afraid when confronting a person.

The fear the hybrid boy had demonstrated was a sign that he had had bad relationships with people in the past. This explanation made the most sense to Soobin. The boy obviously didn’t trust in others and tried to appear aggressive and strong. Even though he had bared his teeth and seemed as if he was going to attack Soobin if he got any closer, Soobin noted that he never actually made the attempt to hurt him. All the while, the boy had stayed inside the dumpster, protected by its metal sides.

Soobin suddenly understood the hybrid boy had only been putting up a front, feigning that he would attack if provoked. The boy was able to trick Soobin, but Soobin began to think about what would happen if the boy encountered someone that didn’t fall for his act? Soobin suddenly felt a chill travel up his body at the thought that the boy wouldn’t be able to defend himself against someone he wasn’t able to scare away.

Lifting the glass to his lips, Soobin leaned his head back and downed the rest of the water. Drops of water trickled down the side of his chin. He wiped them away with the back of his hand, looking towards the cluttered coffee table in front of him. His laptop caught his eye among the rest of the mess. Making room for the glass by pushing away a stack of papers, Soobin grabbed his laptop with his other hand.

He placed the silver laptop on his legs and flipped it open. It was an old laptop, handed down to him from his dad. The screen flickered with thin horizontal lines and the corners of the keyboard were pretty scratched up, but the laptop still worked properly, which was all Soobin really needed. 

Eyes already adjusted to the flickering of the screen, Soobin quickly input his password and opened his internet browser, dragging his mouse over the search bar on his homepage. He had been so quick to grab his laptop and open it up, but now he hesitated, staring at the blinking cursor. What did he want to know? Where should he start his search? His search for what exactly?

Soobin started typing. 

hybrid behavior

hybrid aggressive behavior

dog hybrid scared

dog hybrid aggressive

The search results brought up very general and mostly irrelevant articles and blogs. Many of the posts talked about how to help your hybrid guest through tough times or described different types of behaviors a hybrid may demonstrate during certain stages in life. A lot of what Soobin found and read only confirmed what he had already deduced. However, Soobin kept searching, determined to find a new piece of information that would hopefully help him understand the boy better.

He began to search for news stories about runaway hybrids. From there, Soobin looked into news about mistreated hybrids, homeless hybrids, anything that could apply to the boy’s situation. Seeing that his results were mostly about situations taking place around the world, Soobin added “Korea” at the end of his searches, in hopes of finding news closer to home.

The number of articles greatly decreased once he added that keyword. The few that did appear were published long ago and most instances of stray, runaway, or abused hybrids were months or even years apart from each other. Cautiously, Soobin started adding more specific keywords, such as the name of his province, the name of his city, the name of his neighborhood. There was a small fear that he would actually find something when he hit the enter key, but absolutely nothing came up in the results.

Soobin began to think that it was entirely possible that nobody was looking for this hybrid. It was also possible that nobody knew this boy existed.

Without realizing, hours passed. Soobin read article after article, taking in every detail. Soobin’s eyes began to grow dry and he realized his laptop was starting to run out of battery. Not only that, but the sun would rise in a few hours. He needed to rest or else he would feel like a zombie for the entirety of his upcoming work shift. 

Soobin shut his laptop and plugged it in to charge overnight. He stood and walked back to his bedroom. 

He fell asleep thinking about what would happen if they met again.

* * *

The walk to work usually took Soobin no more than 20 minutes. In fact, most of the time he could get there in 15. But today it was taking him much longer than usual.

Soobin had woken up late to begin with. Having stayed up most the night conducting fruitless research had exhausted him to the point that he slept past three of his alarms. Once he woke up, he only had time to change and eat a quick lunch before heading out to start his shift at the store. 

It was past mid-day, almost 2 P.M., when Soobin left his apartment building. The neighborhood was active. Moms strolled about with their young children. University students ventured off campus to grab something to eat or hang out with friends. Older folks made their rounds of errands. Soobin normally didn’t pay much attention to the activity that surrounded him, but he felt more alert than usual.

He didn’t want to admit it to himself, but the hybrid was definitely still on his mind. It felt like the boy was surrounding him. His mind was convinced that every quick motion was the boy running away. Every voice was his quiet whisper. Even the slightest presence of another being near Soobin felt like the boy.

Soobin kept stopping and looking around. He hesitated and peeked into alleyways, behind cars and stalls, and also paused at the river that ran through his neighborhood to wonder if he had time to check down by the trail.

As a result, Soobin ended up running the rest of the way to work when he checked the time on his phone and realized he was already 10 minutes late. By the time he got there, a thin layer of sweat covered his face and he was out of breath. The last time Soobin had run properly had been in high school and he’d never ran again since then. 

In reality, Soobin was on very good terms with the owner of the general store. The owner was a family friend and had given Soobin a job after he moved out. Soobin could get away with almost anything and his boss would forgive him without a second thought. However, the one person that would never forgive him for being a minute late, much less 10 minutes late, would be the owner's nephew and Soobin's co-worker, Kang Taehyun.

Taehyun was several years younger than Soobin, but he behaved as if he were decades older. He was very intelligent and clever. Taehyun carried himself with certainty and always seemed to know what he was doing. In many ways, Soobin actually looked up to Taehyun despite him being Soobin's junior.

Since the general store had little business, its staff consisted of the owner, the owner's wife, Taehyun and Soobin. Soobin was almost always the one to relieve Taehyun from his shift. Once Taehyun started university about a month ago, he had become more strict regarding timeliness and urged Soobin to get to work on time so he could go home or attend classes. Soobin had never had a problem with getting to work on time before so he had confidently reassured Taehyun not to worry, that he would always be there to let him off just on time.

Now, as he approached the general store, Soobin's heart pounded both from having ran for the first time in years and from the nervousness of having to face Taehyun. He silently prayed Taehyun didn't have a class after work and would end up being late because of Soobin.

The general store was a light blue, two-story building with a slanted roof, tucked between two taller buildings. The building on the left was an old apartment building with vines crawling up its brick exterior and bright potted plants lined against the railing of the rooftop. The light gray building on the right housed a family owned dessert shop on the first floor, a nail salon on the second, and empty retail space on the top floor. Old residences, laundromats, bars, and a few restaurants were also scattered across the area. There was little foot traffic and those that visited that part of town were usually university students wandering about or people who had lived there for a long time and knew what they were doing.

Soobin climbed up the three steps towards the front door of the general store. The outdoor of the store was cluttered and confusing at first glance. A small pile of green crates were stacked on the far right, alongside a lone wooden chair and a coiled black hose. A round trash bin was pushed up against the wall to the left. Several brown, withered plants were placed in a line along the edge of the raised landing. Leaves and dirt littered the ground, crunching under one's feet as they approached the store.

At first glance, one might not know what they were looking at. The store’s sign was chipped and the hand painted words were faded by the sun. Old promotions and posters were plastered along the windows, some ripped and some peeling off. The store’s appearance was quite off putting and would make anyone want to look away. There was a lot of work to be done on the exterior of the store, everyone knew this but nothing was ever done about it.

Soobin held his breath as he opened the door. The silver bell announced his arrival, jingling joyfully as if it were excited to see Soobin get in trouble. The store was mostly quiet. A small radio near the counter played the day’s weather report. The refrigerators filled the space with their continuous hum. Soobin’s shoes made light taps against the tiled floor. The quiet atmosphere was not broken by someone calling out his name in annoyance as he had expected. 

Taehyun wasn’t behind the counter and he wasn’t anywhere in the store stocking or cleaning. Soobin began to wonder if perhaps Taehyun had left the store unattended when he heard steps coming from the staircase located towards the back of the store. The staircase led to the second floor of the building which was used as both an office and storage space. Taehyun was near the bottom when he saw Soobin peeking out from behind a shelf of cleaning products. 

“Oh, hey, Soobin. It’s two already?” Taehyun shifted the weight of the cardboard box he held in his arms to his left side in order to check the watch on his wrist. “It’s past two? Have you been here long?”

Soobin followed behind Taehyun to the counter and watched as his co-worker set the box down. He silently debated whether or not to lie about not being late, but decided that the truth was always best when dealing with Taehyun.

“Well, no, I actually just got here. I was running late today, I’m sorry,” Soobin pressed his lips together and shrugged apologetically. Taehyun shot him an amused expression and laughed lightly.

“It’s okay, I hadn’t even noticed it was time for me to go. I don’t have classes today, so you’re good,” he pulled a boxcutter from his back pocket and slid the blade out. “But next time you better be on time because I have an exam in one of my classes. If I miss it because of you...” Taehyun didn’t have to continue for Soobin to recognize the warning.

The younger boy pressed the blade of the boxcutter against the clear tape keeping the box shut and cut it open. Inside was a thick bundle of newspapers. Soobin quickly scanned the front page but found the top story to be uninteresting. The stories in the local paper were usually lackluster. Soobin would skim through the paper from time to time when he was bored at work, but nothing very exciting happened in the area.

“My uncle said one of the staff dropped this off early in the morning and I completely forgot to set them out earlier,” Taehyun took out the stack of newspapers from the box and walked over to the front door. There was a small metal rack where they placed the papers. On the rack was still a pretty thick stack of last week’s papers they hadn’t sold.

"We barely even sell those. Why doesn't your uncle reduce the number of papers we stock? We always end up throwing away a bunch of them," Soobin helped Taehyun by moving the stack of old papers as he thought out loud. 

"I know, I know," Taehyun plopped the new papers down on the metal rack. "I've been trying to convince my uncle to cut a lot of items from his orders, but he's so stubborn and I'm pretty sure he doesn't think I know what I'm doing," Taehyun sighed, taking the old papers from Soobin and placing them in the box. "You mind taking these to the recycling bin later?"

"No, I don't mind. It'll give me something to do," Soobin took the box and placed it behind the counter for later. "But you're pretty smart. I don't know why he wouldn't at least consider your suggestions. What was it that you're studying again? Management?"

Taehyun nodded, "Sort of. I haven't declared my major yet but I'm looking into majoring in psychology and minoring in business management.”

"Does that mean one day this place’ll be yours? Mr. Kang doesn't have anyone else that'll take over for him, right?" Soobin asked. They’d never really had the chance to discuss the future of the store before and Soobin was genuinely curious.

"Me? In charge of this place?” Taehyun’s eyes widened skeptically. “I don't really think that's gonna happen. I'm pretty sure this place is going to die off before I even finish college.”

Soobin agreed somberly. Although the place was boring, it was a nice job with lots of benefits and leeway. Soobin got scheduled for a lot of hours every week and it helped pay his bills. The job didn't ask for much from him and he was able to balance work and online school just fine. He needed this place to last for at least another year or two while he finished his degree. The thought of the general store having to close because of the lack of business was depressing and quite scary.

Before Soobin had a chance to respond, Taehyun spoke suddenly, “Did you see anything weird last night?”

It was only for an instant, but Soobin was sure his heart definitely ceased to beat. His face froze into an apathetic expression, thankfully not giving away the shock he really felt.

“Anything weird? What do you mean?” His mouth felt stiff as he responded. A brief image of the hybrid boy flashed in his mind.

“Yeah, by the dumpster. Did you hear or see anything in the alleyway? Uncle wanted to know if the raccoons had shown up again,” Taehyun wasn’t even looking at Soobin, preoccupied with counting the money in the register. Soobin’s body relaxed in relief at the mention of raccoons.

_He didn’t mean the hybrid. Of course he didn’t mean the hybrid, stupid. Nobody saw that boy except for you. There was no way Taehyun knew about him too…_

“The raccoons,” Soobin trailed off as if in thought, “No, no, I didn’t see anything strange. I don’t think they’ve been back since that one time,”

“That’s good. Hopefully they don’t come back. That’s gonna be such a pain if we have raccoons digging through our trash and making a mess,” Taehyun swiped the cash quickly in between his fingers. It was a mystery how he could hold a conversation and not lose count of the money.

“Yeah, that’s true,” Soobin laughed uncomfortably. Their conversation dwindled down after that. Soobin excused himself and made a round of the store, making mental notes on what had to be filled up.

After counting the money, Taehyun left Soobin a short list of tasks to complete before closing. Nothing out of the usual, it was mainly stocking, throwing out expired merchandise, and sweep and mop the place. Soobin reassured him it would all be done. Taehyun thanked him and grabbed his things, waving goodbye at Soobin as he walked out of the door. 

The afternoon went by slowly. Barely anyone entered the store. Soobin was momentarily entertained when two teenage girls came inside and began picking out a mountain of blue colored food items. They giggled at Soobin’s baffled expression and promptly explained to him that they were going to film a YouTube video reviewing blue food items. Soobin nodded as if he understood and cashed them out, the girls fidgeting excitedly the entire time.

“Goodbye, mister!” they called on their way out, their bags heavy with snacks. Soobin waved politely in response.

Someone held the door open for them and the girls bowed their heads lightly in gratitude. The man that had held the door open for them stepped into the store, a cheeky grin on his face.

Soobin recognized the fox-like features immediately and had to bite the inside of his cheeks from complaining out loud.

 _Oh god, it’s Yeonjun._ _What does he want this time?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics from "Te Guardo" by Silvana Estrada. Translation by me.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	3. Looking For Him Pt. 2

_I can only wonder how_

_Touching you would make me feel_

_But if I take that chance right now_

_Tomorrow will you want me still?_

_So I should keep this to myself_

_And never let you know_

**3.**

The box of old newspapers meant for the trash was in plain sight.

Before Yeonjun could get too close to the front counter and see the newspapers, Soobin used his foot to shove the box under the counter. He didn’t want Yeonjun to see all the unsold newspapers in case it was insulting to him in any kind of way. Throwing away someone’s hard work could definitely be quite offensive.

Choi Yeonjun was a reporter for the local newspaper. From what he had told Soobin on an earlier occasion, Soobin knew he often covered topics such as crime and politics. Yeonjun had also proudly boasted that he was gradually making his way up the hierarchy at his company, soon to be promoted to news editor. 

Yeonjun was very talkative, friendly, and sometimes a bit full of himself. It wasn’t that Soobin hated him. Instead, it was more accurate to say that Yeonjun was just a tad annoying. Soobin could enjoy talking to him for a few minutes but after a certain point Soobin wished he could push Yeonjun right out the door. So, whenever he saw Yeonjun walk into the general store, he had to mentally prepare himself for a long, long one-sided conversation.

As well as the recurring requests to go out on a date.

“Soobin-ah,” Yeonjun crooned, making his way towards the counter. “Have you been well? It’s been some time since I last saw you.”

Soobin watched Yeonjun lean comfortably against the counter, angling his face towards the younger man. Soobin body’s automatically moved slightly away from Yeonjun. He gave Yeonjun a small smile and responded that yes, he has been well.

“That’s good, that’s good. I’ve been doing pretty well myself. Just had a conversation with the editor in chief the other day about my promotion. I’m confident it’ll happen any day now,” Yeonjun tapped his finger against the wood, raising his eyebrows excitedly. 

“That’s really exciting, Yeonjun. I know you put a lot of work into your stories and the newspaper,” Soobin indulged him.

“Thank you! I really appreciate that,” Yeonjun laughed heartily and removed his weight from the counter. “You know, Soobin, I feel like you really understand me and all the work I put into this paper. Seriously, thanks,” Soobin nodded lightly, thinking about all the newspapers by his feet. 

There was a slight pause in the conversation.

Soobin cleared his throat, “So, uh, is there anything I can help you find?”

“Oh!” Yeonjun clapped his hands as if just remembering what he had gone to the store for. “Just grabbing some drinks! I had a lot of success following up on this interesting story about a hybrid, so I thought I would treat myself to some drinks tonight,” Yeonjun winked.

_Hybrid? Did he just say hybrid?_

Soobin’s mind jolted at Yeonjun’s words. He sat up straighter, eyes glued on Yeonjun as he walked towards the refrigerators and pulled out a case of beers. Soobin could feel his pulse quickening. 

Was it just a coincidence that Yeonjun was investigating a story about a hybrid right after Soobin had encountered a potential runaway hybrid the night before? Was the hybrid Yeonjun was writing about a completely different being from the boy in the dumpster? Or could it be possible that the hybrid Yeonjun was investigating was the same boy Soobin met? These and numerous other questions began popping up in Soobin’s mind.

He wanted to know more about the story Yeonjun was writing. Soobin knew it wouldn’t be hard to extract information from the other man. After all, Yeonjun loved talking about himself and his work. It was just a matter of how to approach the subject without seeming overly interested. Soobin had to keep an attitude of indifference or else Yeonjun would pick up on the fact that Soobin was intrigued and probably bother Soobin more often while he was at work. That really was the last thing Soobin wanted.

Yeonjun walked back with the beers in one hand and a bag of chips in the other. He placed them on the counter. Soobin hesitated to grab the items.

“What did you say your story was about?” he asked, looking up at Yeonjun.

“A hybrid. It’s a bit of a crazy story, really. You don’t really hear of hybrids doing this kind of thing,” he patted the case of beers. “Hey-”

“What kind of thing?” Soobin spoke over him. He felt a pang of guilt for cutting him off so suddenly, but he didn’t want Yeonjun to change the subject.

Yeonjun didn’t react and replied, “A rabbit hybrid was charged with fraud and embezzlement. He was moving money from his human family’s company to a personal account. Apparently, he stole over 200,000 from them before they noticed anything wrong with their accounts.”

Rabbit hybrid. Embezzlement. This had absolutely nothing to do with the young dog hybrid. A part of Soobin was relieved to hear that Yeonjun hadn’t somehow discovered the boy and had already investigated him. Yet another part was disappointed at no news, itching to know more about the boy and dig into every detail of his life. 

“Wow, yeah, you definitely don’t hear that sort of thing happening. Hybrids are usually so well off. You wouldn’t think they’d steal money from their hosts,” Soobin spoke automatically, his mind searching for another way to delve deeper into the topic of hybrids. “H-has there been any other interesting stories lately? About hybrids, I mean,” 

“Other stories about hybrids?” Yeonjun stopped to think. “Well, no, I can’t really think of any. That’s not really my area of expertise. I cover stories on crime and government, things like that,”

It took Soobin a moment to realize that Yeonjun was drawing a blank because he didn’t associate hybrids with crime or politics. Criminal cases involving hybrids were rare. The number of hybrids involved in politics or holding government positions was minimal. It made sense that Yeonjun seldom wrote about or became involved with hybrids.

“Why do you wanna know? Have you heard something about hybrids lately?” Yeonjun asked.

“No, it was for no reason, really,” he tried to play it off. “I just ran across some articles the other night about homeless hybrids, hybrids in abusive households and other situations like that. It made me realize that I don’t really know about what’s going on around me and I don’t want to be ignorant concerning topics like that. If possible, I’d like to learn more and help, you know?” Soobin spoke from the heart.

“I see,” Yeonjun raised his eyebrows thoughtfully and agreed. “I haven’t heard of any story like that in our area, but I’ll keep it in mind, for sure,” 

“Of course, of course,” Soobin pulled the case of beer towards him and scanned the barcode. He didn’t know what else to ask and fell silent. He felt a bit absurd for thinking Yeonjun would know something about the boy. The desperate feeling to see the boy again and talk to him was beginning to cloud Soobin’s mind.

Seeing that Soobin was losing interest in him, Yeonjun spoke up.

“A colleague of mine did mention that the hybrid enrollment at the university skyrocketed this year. I think she said a quarter of the freshman class is made up of hybrids,” Soobin perked up slightly at this. He immediately thought of Taehyun, who was a freshman at the nearby university, and wondered if he had classes with hybrids.

“Oh, that’s pretty cool. My co-worker just started school there,” Soobin commented casually, sliding the beers back towards Yeonjun. “Do you want a bag for that?” 

“Hm? Oh, no, I’m fine. Thanks,” Yeonjun had been gazing at Soobin and his response was delayed. Soobin nodded and reached for the chips.

Yeonjun licked his lips and spoke hesitantly, “Hey, um, what time do you get off tonight? We could go back to my place and have some drinks or go anywhere really, if you’d like,” he had the sense to look away briefly while asking.

Soobin ran his tongue over his bottom teeth, blinking slowly. It was no secret Yeonjun liked Soobin. Ever since they had first met months ago when Soobin first started working at the general store, Yeonjun had been pretty obvious about his crush on Soobin. He often asked Soobin out for drinks or to go out to eat together. But Soobin always refused, using the same excuses over and over. This didn’t keep Yeonjun from trying again. Soobin wasn’t sure if Yeonjun hadn’t gotten the hint or if he was just really persistent.

It was a little difficult for Soobin to pinpoint why he was so reluctant to engage in romance. In Yeonjun’s case, Soobin didn’t think he was unattractive. Yeonjun was actually very handsome, Soobin didn’t have a hard time admitting that to himself. The age difference wasn’t a huge issue either. From what Soobin understood, Yeonjun was in his late twenties, about five or so years older than Soobin. Maybe their personalities were incompatible and that was why Soobin didn’t feel any romantic feelings towards Yeonjun.

However, deep down, Soobin knew he didn’t pursue a relationship because he was nervous. When it came to romance, Soobin always grew uneasy. He wasn’t ashamed to admit that he had very little romantic experience. What Soobin needed was someone that would take things slowly with him. Someone that would learn alongside him, exploring and discovering the intricacies and joys of loving and being loved. Entering a relationship with someone as daring as Yeonjun seemed too daunting for Soobin. He didn’t even want to test the waters and give Yeonjun ideas. It was better to just turn him down outright and hope one day Yeonjun would move on.

“Um, I can’t say for sure. I have to do some extra things around the place tonight and I’ll probably be getting home a lot later than usual,” Soobin wasn’t entirely being dishonest, he was just embellishing the truth. He finished cashing Yeonjun out and handed him back his change.

“I understand, it’s cool. But, hey, if you’re ever free, my offer still stands,” Yeonjun smiled brightly and gathered his things in his arms. “I should probably be heading out now. I’ll see you around, Soobin,”

“Yeah, it was good seeing you again, Yeonjun. And sorry about not being able to drink with you tonight,” Soobin walked out from behind the counter and nodded at Yeonjun on his way out. 

It was already getting dark outside and the street lamps were blinking on one by one. Soobin realized he hadn’t started any of the tasks Taehyun had asked him to do and sighed loudly. He took a moment to stretch his arms above his head before getting on with his work.

* * *

A few hours before closing, Soobin’s stomach began to growl. Some days he could go his entire shift without taking a break, but he’d been bringing down heavy boxes from the second floor and had exerted more energy than usual. 

Mr. Kang allowed Taehyun and Soobin to grab whatever they’d like to eat on their breaks for free. Most of the time he ate ramen at work. Not much else would fill him up and he wanted to save money by not ordering food from elsewhere. Soobin grabbed a bowl of instant noodles and a drink before heading upstairs to where the microwave was. 

He filled the bowl with water and stuck it into the microwave. His stomach rumbled again as he waited for his food to be ready. Soobin turned around and faced a pair of windows that overlooked the alleyway. The lighting in the alley was poor. A single dim outdoor light was installed above the back door of the general store and other than that, whatever light spilled out from windows and doorways was what illuminated the alley.

Unlike the night before, the moon was hidden behind clouds. Soobin couldn’t see very well, but he was familiar with the layout and could imagine what it looked like outside. The dumpster would be to the left of the windows. Soobin craned his neck but only managed to catch a glimpse of the right most corner. He felt himself zoning out, his thoughts travelling back to the night before when he had been standing down there face to face with the injured boy standing in the dumpster.

At that moment, the microwave beeped signaling that the ramen was ready. Soobin refocused on what was in front of him and suddenly felt sick to his stomach.

How could he enjoy his food when he knew that boy was out there in the cold digging through dumpsters in order to fill his stomach? 

Soobin stood in his spot. The microwave beeped a few times as a reminder that something had been left inside, but Soobin didn’t move forward. Instead, Soobin turned back towards the stairs and ran down. He headed towards the food and started grabbing various items. Fruit. Water. Juice. Kimbap. A hot dog. Trail mix. A bag of chips. Lastly, a pre-made lunch box. As a teenager, Soobin had had a ravenous appetite. He could only imagine that the hybrid boy’s would be even more so.

With arms full of food, Soobin walked over to the register and paid for everything. Mr. Kang was generous, but Soobin didn’t want to take so many things from the store for free. He took a plastic bag and set it on the counter, neatly placing everything he’d just bought inside. Soobin tied it neatly, but not tightly and stepped towards the back door. He patted his back pocket to make sure he had his keys on him and then stepped outside into the alleyway.

The cold air took his breath away. He hunched his shoulders against the sudden cold and gripped onto his arms to try and preserve his heat. 

Soobin’s eyes gradually adjusted to the darkness. He quickly made his way towards the dumpster and set the bag full of food against the wall across from it. The night was quiet. Aside from the occasional car driving past the end of the alleyway, no other sounds filled the night air.

He looked down at the plastic bag. His warm breath turned into a wispy cloud in front of him. Soobin knew it wasn’t likely the boy would pass by the alleyway. He knew the boy would probably never set foot in this alley after what had happened. But Soobin wanted to remain hopeful, that maybe the boy would pass through and see the bag of food. That maybe he would pick it up and take it with him. That maybe Soobin could take care of him.

Their moment together had been so brief. So full of fear and anxiety. At the time, Soobin had wanted to leave the alley just as much as the hybrid had. He knew the boy wanted nothing to do with him. He knew that even if he was given the chance to help the boy, how could he? 

Soobin was a 22 year old living on his own and earning only slightly above the minimum wage. His apartment was cramped, barely big enough for himself. He was studying online for a degree in marketing after having applied to college several years after peers his own age. He had no time for anything else besides making money and studying. How would it be possible for him to look after someone else?

Despite all of this, the memory of the boy had rooted itself deep in Soobin’s head. No matter what, Soobin couldn’t think of anyone else.

Soobin left the bag there overnight. When he arrived at work the next day, he wasn’t disappointed to see the bag untouched. He knew the chances of the boy crossing through the alley were small. Not discouraged, Soobin set out another bag of food that night filled with much of the same things he had picked out previously. 

When he left work the bag had not been touched. When he came in to work the next day, the bag sat in the same spot, still tied neatly. Soobin’s hope wasn’t dampened. He bought more food and placed yet another bag across from the dumpster for a third time. However, just like the previous two nights, the bag sat undisturbed by the time his shift was over. 

He stood silently in the dark alleyway, watching the plastic bag rustle in the breeze. Soobin bit the inside of his cheeks, the crease in his brow deepening. 

He wasn’t scheduled to work the next day. He struggled to make up his mind whether or not to stop by sometime tomorrow and leave more food out. Soobin knew he ran the risk of getting caught by Mr. Kang and being questioned about why he was leaving food in the alley. He’d probably be accused of being the reason why the raccoons showed up in the first place even though he’d only recently started leaving food out.

It was best to skip for one day. Reluctantly, Soobin went home.

Studying became impossible. His assignments were being done last minute. Falling asleep was difficult. His laundry was stacking up, spilling out of its basket. His appetite grew less and less. Soobin only felt normal when he was back at work, when he was closest to the spot where he met the boy.

He returned after his day off and repeated the process of setting food out by the dumpster. For the next two nights, Soobin would leave work to see yet again the same scene of an untouched plastic bag placed against a brick wall.

It was inevitable. Night after night, Soobin’s heart grew heavier. His hopes of seeing the boy once more began to seem foolish. He started asking himself why he had started setting out food in the first place. Soobin grew less enthusiastic about his idea. He grew afraid that perhaps the hybrid had left the neighborhood entirely and would never return.

On the day that marked a week since Soobin encountered the hybrid boy, he made up his mind that he would only set out food one more time. If the food was once again untouched by the time he returned the next day, he would completely stop leaving bags of food in the alleyway. Soobin did not want to come to this conclusion, but he also knew he couldn’t spend the rest of his life buying food for a boy that never showed up.

Just as before, Soobin placed a plastic bag stuffed with a variety of food items right across from the dumpster. The night was once again cold. The moon shone brightly and the stars twinkled. Soobin could hear a group of friends chatting and laughing down the street. A car drove by. Multicolored lights from the second floor nail salon leaked into the alleyway.

_Please. Please be here._

* * *

As if the neighborhood had conspired against him, Soobin wasn’t able to go outside for the entirety of the rest of his shift.

After he came inside from dropping off the last bag of food, a wave of customers entered nearly all at once. Soobin would finish ringing up one person when he would look up and see a line of three or four more people waiting patiently. He wondered if it was a holiday or if there was an event going on nearby that would have prompted all of these people to come to the general store.

In the end, Soobin never figured out why there had been a sudden stream of customers coming in and out of the store. The increased business was good for the store, but Soobin’s mind was filled with different preoccupations and he hadn’t been prepared to deal with so many people. He wasn’t even able to do any cleaning or stocking until well after he closed the store.

Soobin finally shut off all the lights and input the store’s alarm code about an hour later than most nights. Patting his back pocket to check for the keys, he used his forearm to push the back door open and exited the store. 

A white plastic bag drifted past his feet, the wind carrying it halfway down the alleyway. The cup of instant noodles Soobin had made and placed very carefully among the other things was rolling around on the ground. The other packaged items and the water bottle were gone.

It felt like his heart had climbed up his throat. Soobin went over to the cup and picked it up. It was licked clean. 

Soobin breathed sharply, sending cold air rushing through his body. He felt alive! He felt reborn! He had never been so happy to clean up trash before! He wished he could duplicate himself so he could have someone to dance and jump around with and express all of the joy that flooded his body.

_He’s here! He’s still here! He hasn’t left!_

Soobin found a pair of footprints in the dirt settled by the wall. The outlines of the toes and heels were apparent. Unless there was another barefoot boy running around town, it had to have been the hybrid that stopped by and ate the food. 

Soobin wasn’t sure if he walked or floated home.

He was filled with renewed energy and passion over the next few days. Every night he bought more food and placed it across the dumpster. Every night Soobin left work and saw the trash tossed onto the ground. Every night he picked up the garbage with glee and dunked it into the dumpster. 

Although Soobin had not seen the boy for over a week and half, he knew that the boy was well enough to move around and pick up the food Soobin set out for him. 

Soobin tried looking for him a few times, but it always seemed like the hybrid was long gone by the time Soobin got out of work and picked up the trash. He didn’t leave any traces of himself besides some scattered footprints in the dirt. 

This continued for nearly another week. Soobin didn’t care about the money he was spending. He asked for more hours at work. He was constantly thinking about the boy. He was even somehow content with just knowing the boy was accepting the food and didn’t think he needed more than that. 

One night, Soobin walked around the store picking out food. He hummed softly to himself as he scanned the items, placed them in the bag, and tied the straps into a knot. He hummed as he opened the door and walked outside. The nights had been getting progressively colder. The air made goosebumps appear on his arms. He carefully set the bag down and turned back towards the store.

Soobin worked contentedly. He knew the boy would stop by sometime between then and the end of his shift. His chest grew warm at the thought that they would be near each other for a moment. The hours passed. Soobin cleaned and filled up the merchandise. He ate on his break. He even finished up an assignment for school.

At closing, Soobin worked swiftly. As always, right before leaving, he patted his back pocket, shut off the lights, and punched in the alarm code. He wiggled the doorknob of the back door to make sure it had locked and then turned around.

The bag was untouched.

Was he seeing things correctly? 

Yes, he was.

The plastic bag sat in the dark just as it had been when Soobin put it down. There was no trash strewn across the alleyway. No footprints. Soobin stepped closer and nudged the bag with his foot. It was definitely still filled with food. 

What was he feeling? Soobin stared down at the bag. He didn’t know. Disappointment? Worry? Confusion? When paints are mixed together, when you mix reds and blues and yellows and you keep adding and mixing, in the end you’ll have a mess of dark paint. A color that is neither brown nor black, a muddy color. Soobin felt as if this muddy, watery paint was swirling around inside of his body, making everything more difficult to understand.

He slowly bent over to pick up the bag by the knot. The boy had been passing by everyday for almost a week. Why would he suddenly stop? Had he suddenly grown cold towards Soobin and decided not to accept food from him anymore? Had something happened to him? Soobin didn’t want to assume the worst but he couldn’t help it.

A sound came from behind him, by the dumpster.

The sound of shuffling feet.

Soobin grew acutely aware of a presence behind him. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up. It felt like the space behind him became electric.

He turned his body rigidly.

The hybrid boy was standing by the dumpster. His hands were balled into fists. He shifted his weight from one foot to another. His stance relayed nervousness—shoulders bent forwards, eyes peering at Soobin from behind his long bangs, and his black ears were bent back, placed low against his head.

Soobin blanked for a moment. All he could do was stare at the boy that stood in front of him. Neither moved towards each other.

After what felt like a long moment, Soobin spoke.

“Y-you’re here,” his voice cracked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics from "I Could Fall In Love" by Selena
> 
> I was listening to a lot of dramatic soundtracks while writing this chapter and I think it shows...  
> I recommend "Lament in the Night" from The Untamed Original Soundtrack. A piece like that makes me cry ㅜㅜ


	4. Lost

_Two weeks earlier, at the first meeting..._

**4.**

Beomgyu felt his ankle bend in an impossible direction. 

Climbing into the dumpster hadn’t been too much of a challenge. As a result, Beomgyu underestimated just how long the drop was from the edge of the dumpster to the ground. A numbness spread over his foot when he landed. Had it not been for the adrenaline coursing through his body, the numbing sensation would have prevented him from moving further. 

However, Beomgyu pushed off from the ground with all of his strength, bits of rock embedding themselves into his palm and bare knee. He stumbled away from the young man that had discovered him in the dumpster. He couldn’t feel his ankle and his foot dragged as he moved as quickly as possible out of the alleyway.

The young man had been speaking to him when something had suddenly burst out from the darkness. Beomgyu had already been on high alert, anxious out of his mind after being cornered in the dumpster. When the loud crashing sound filled his ears and he sensed something scraping along the ground towards him, Beomgyu’s fear peaked and his body moved automatically, fleeing from the scene.

As he ran, Beomgyu didn’t look back once. He didn’t dare do anything that could hinder his progress. He kept running, doing his best to keep in the shadows so he wasn’t an easy target to follow. His legs didn’t stop moving even when he grew tired and felt weak because he feared someone would catch up to him. He feared that someone would grab him. Hurt him. Report him.

Beomgyu feared, above all, that someone would want to keep him.

This area of the neighborhood was unfamiliar to him. He had only wandered this far in hopes of finding something to eat. As he ran, Beomgyu realized he forgot how many turns he had made. His eyes scanned the passing surroundings frantically. None of the buildings or stores looked familiar. His nose trembled as he sniffed the air. He couldn’t even recognize any smells this far out into the neighborhood.

Beomgyu sped around a corner without thinking. However, once his mind registered he had just run onto a street lined with restaurants, stalls, and was swarming with people, Beomgyu turned and ran in the opposite direction.

After running for a long time, Beomgyu’s fear of someone catching up to him was replaced with the fear of not being able to find his hiding spot. It was the only place he had grown familiar with and the only place Beomgyu knew was safe to some degree. His few possessions were still at this place and losing them devastated him. 

He could only run for so long. At some point, Beomgyu stopped to catch his breath. The numbness had passed and he began to feel his ankle. It felt as if it were throbbing, as if it were growing in size. Soon enough Beomgyu wouldn’t even be able to move it slightly, much less run around with his ankle in this condition.

The desperation to find his hiding spot consumed him. He began to move again, limping noticeably. Beomgyu began to think that maybe he was near and he just hadn’t noticed. The place he was looking for was an old, abandoned mechanic shop. 

The shop itself was quite small. There were only two garage doors, meaning the shop had only been able to accommodate two cars at a time back when it was still in business. A lot of heavy and dated machinery had been left behind and the shop was littered with trash, tools, and scrap material, like wood and metal. A corrugated metal fence had been installed around the workshop. Beomgyu could tell it had been in place for many years judging by its rusted appearance.

A little over a week ago, when Beomgyu first arrived in this town, he came upon the mechanic shop by chance. After circling around the property several times, he discovered one of the metal panels of the fence had become loose near the bottom. It took some time and effort, but after a while Beomgyu was successful in loosening the panel even more so that it created a space big enough for him to squeeze through. 

This place had become Beomgyu’s shelter against the weather, his hiding spot from others, both human and hybrid, and it was the place where he could rest without worry. He didn’t know if he would be able to find another place like the shop if he couldn’t find it again.

A long time had passed since Beomgyu left the alleyway. It was definitely taking him a much longer time to get back to the mechanic shop than it had taken him to find that particular alley. 

Was he walking around in circles? Had he taken an unnecessarily long route back to the shop? His tail drooped. It was entirely possible that he was just circling around the same area. It hadn’t been long since he arrived in this neighborhood. Not only was it all unfamiliar to him, but he still felt dazed from the scare he had experienced earlier and wasn’t able to focus well.

While he searched for the shop, Beomgyu sniffed the air constantly, hoping to pick up a familiar scent. Beomgyu often found himself relying on his keen sense of smell when he didn’t know what else to do. At times, he felt like his sense of smell was more trustworthy than any other sense. He angled his face here and there, from side to side, aiming his face slightly upwards.

It was then that the unmistakable scent of vanilla entered his nose. Both his tail and ears perked up at the familiar scent. He smelled the air deeply, ensuring himself that he was picking up on the right thing. His body instinctively followed his nose’s lead and went towards the sweet vanilla scent. 

Near the mechanic shop, there was a popular café that sold treats like cake, coffee, and delicious ice cream. Beomgyu often avoided the place because it was always crowded during the day. But, at times, he couldn’t resist hiding nearby and filling his nose with the wonderful, sugary scents that escaped past the door. The vanilla ice cream was always the most enticing dessert. Beomgyu desired it badly.

The café had been closed for a few hours, but the scents lingered. Beomgyu rushed in the direction of the vanilla scent. Once he got to the café, he would know exactly how to get back to the mechanic shop. 

The instant Beomgyu laid eyes on the familiar building, he felt both relief and exhaustion wash over him. All of the adrenaline he felt earlier and had kept him moving throughout the night gradually left his body. Beomgyu was left feeling empty, completely drained of all his energy. It was difficult to convince his legs to carry him the last few meters towards the mechanic shop.

He hesitated when he reached the metal fence, knowing it was going to be difficult trying to slip under the loose metal panel. Beomgyu approached slowly, his bare feet leaving faint prints on the dusty ground. His ankle was stiff and he couldn't bend it in any way. He crouched and pulled the metal from the fence. Keeping the lower half of his leg as straight as possible, Beomgyu used his good leg to push himself through the opening, falling onto the dirt on the other side with a grunt. The metal panel clanged shut after he fell. Beomgyu's ears pressed against his head, flinching at the loud noise. 

After struggling to stand, Beomgyu half hopped, half walked towards the mechanic shop. The lock on the front door had been broken before Beomgyu first arrived. He pushed the door open, walking into a small, emptied lobby. He stepped quietly through another door that led into the garage and grabbed a large blue tarp he had left folded on the ground. Beomgyu dragged the blue tarp behind him, disturbing the dust and dirt on the ground, and pressed his back against the wall.

Beomgyu slid down onto the ground in defeat. He covered himself with the plastic tarp, but continued to shiver. His whole body felt tense trying to ward off the cold—jaw clenched and body rigid. The tarp didn't help much against the cold, but it was better to cover himself than to just sit around in shorts and a t-shirt. Faint moonlight entered the shop through the long windows near the ceiling. Yet, the corner Beomgyu sat in was much darker than the rest of the building. 

His fingers tentatively reached down to feel his right ankle. It was definitely sprained. He pressed down lightly on his skin, feeling the swollen area. As he examined his foot, Beomgyu’s stomach growled. The events from earlier came rushing back into his mind.

Beomgyu had struck gold when he climbed into that dumpster. Besides the usual trash, many of the garbage bags had been filled with unopened, expired products. Expiration dates were the least of Beomgyu’s worries. After so many days of eating meager scraps, what he found in the dumpster was a feast in comparison. But his plans to take food back with him were deterred when he was seen by the young man leaving his workplace. 

He had been momentarily blinded by the young man’s flashlight directed towards his face. Once the light had been turned off and the after image faded away, Beomgyu was able to take a look at the person across from him. 

What stood out to Beomgyu more than anything else were the young man’s gentle facial features. Even though his brows were drawn together in a worried expression and a slight frown rested on his lips, Beomgyu felt drawn towards the soft curve of the young man’s cheeks, the warm glint in his dark eyes, and the deep dimples that appeared when he pressed his lips together. While examining the boy, Beomgyu had unknowingly let his guard down slightly.

_“Are you okay?”_

_“I’m not going to hurt you,”_

_“I’m just as scared as you are,”_

The young man’s words echoed in Beomgyu’s head. He remembered tensing up when the young man broke the silence of the alleyway. He hadn’t responded. He had no intentions of engaging in a conversation with the human. All of his thoughts at that moment had revolved around escaping from the situation. 

But as he sat in the dark in an abandoned mechanic shop, Beomgyu wondered endlessly if the young man had been sincere. He found it difficult to believe that someone actually cared about his well being, that someone would openly admit they felt equally as fearful as Beomgyu.

Throughout his life, Beomgyu had rarely heard those phrases directed towards him. The phrase he did hear more frequently had been, “I’m not going to hurt you” and that often ended up being a lie. Because of this, Beomgyu questioned everyone and their true intentions. It was ingrained in his being that others weren’t to be trusted, that if they ever seemed concerned about him it was for their own self-interest and not because they truly cared for him.

The fear of being betrayed, of being hurt and deceived trumped all of Beomgyu’s other emotions. He refused to seek help from others because he was afraid that whoever he went to for help would turn on him. He was scared that if he sought help, he would be reported to authorities or that attention would be brought onto him and in some way, his owners would find him and take him back to where he was before.

For Beomgyu, solitude was safety. He ran away in order to protect himself.

Beomgyu leaned his head against the wall. He let out a deep sign and closed his eyes. The young man’s face appeared faintly behind his shut eyelids. Beomgyu wondered if he was looking for him. He wondered if the other boy was thinking of him, trying to come up with answers to who he was, where he had come from, why he was digging around in a dumpster. Beomgyu knew that he would be wondering similar things if he were in the other’s position.

Eventually, his thoughts began to slow down. He gently lay himself down on the cold ground, tightening the tarp around his shoulders. His breathing became deeper and slower. Beomgyu fell asleep thinking about the young man. 

* * *

The next few days melted into each other. The sun would rise and fall. The shadows inside the garage would stretch and shrink. At night, the crickets would keep Beomgyu company and chirp loudly.

Beomgyu couldn’t move around easily during this time. His ankle had worsened overnight, probably because he had been running around and straining it more than he should have. He tried his best to splint his ankle and only got up from his resting spot against the wall when necessary. His condition prevented him from travelling far and looking for something to eat. Beomgyu sipped rainwater he had collected over time, trying to ignore the growing pain in his abdomen.

The hybrid boy had gone hungry before, even before he ran away. Beomgyu was no stranger to miserable meals and having to wait a long time for the next one. He tried to occupy his mind with anything but the thought of food. Yet, it was difficult to set aside all of his concerns. He frequently felt light-headed and weak. His body was sore all over. Emotionally, Beomgyu was drained. The fear that had coursed through his veins several nights ago sucked everything out of him. What remained was bitter sadness and aching irritation at the situation he was in.

One morning, Beomgyu took off his makeshift splint and cautiously rotated his ankle. It no longer felt stiff. Beomgyu was able to move it slightly from side to side and stand up without much difficulty. It continued to feel as if it were bruised, but he could get around much more easily.

Being able to move his ankle and walk around lifted Beomgyu’s spirits slightly. However, overall, he still felt terrible. Ignoring his hunger wasn’t enough to actually make it disappear. The emptiness in his stomach was uncomfortable and made him feel as if he was going to vomit at any moment. Not only that, but Beomgyu smelled.

It had been many days since Beomgyu had a chance to wash himself. Shortly after deciding to stay in this neighborhood, Beomgyu had come across a closed off river trail. Because the trail no longer saw any foot traffic, it had slowly faded away and become overgrown with weeds. Beomgyu had followed this path curiously, wondering where it would take him. He ended up right at the river’s edge, a considerably steep bank leading down towards the moving water.

Now that his movement wasn’t as restricted as before, Beomgyu thought about walking down to the river to clean himself up. Finding something to eat continued to be a top priority, however maintaining his personal hygiene also wasn’t something he could keep putting off forever.

Beomgyu collected a worn rag and a bottle of dish soap he had ashamedly nabbed from a market stall. Although it was still early in the morning, Beomgyu could already feel it would be unusually warmer than the past few days. This was good for Beomgyu. He’d be able to dry off quickly and hopefully the water wouldn’t feel as cold. Feeling slightly more positive, he made his way towards the trail without coming across anyone else. 

The river bank seemed more daunting than before. With caution, Beomgyu crouched low and threw a leg over the edge of the bank. He dug his foot into the dirt, but the bank crumbled under his toes. His heart began to race when he felt the ground give away under his foot. He gently patted the area with his toes, looking for another spot to step on. A rock stuck out from the dirt. Beomgyu tested its stability by pushing down on it. When it remained firmly in the ground, Beomgyu allowed himself to rest his weight on the rock while his other leg slid over the edge.

Beomgyu progressed slowly. It was an uneven, intimidating climb down towards the river. Once he was close enough, Beomgyu gripped onto an exposed tree root and leaned closer to the water. He skimmed the surface with his fingertips. It was ice cold. A shiver shot up Beomgyu’s arm.

The rag and the dish soap were tucked into the waistband of his shorts. Beomgyu pulled out the rag with his free hand and dipped it into the water. Water streamed from the cloth as he pulled it out. His fist tightened around the rag, squeezing the excess water out. Placing the rag on his bare knee so it wouldn’t get dirty, Beomgyu popped open the lid of the dish soap and added a small amount to the rag. Cold water traveled down his shin and onto his feet.

Beomgyu breathed sharply when the icy rag touched his body. He did his best to wipe himself down while still holding on to the root with his other hand. The coarseness of the root was starting to sting his palm and after a little while his ankle began to ache once more from supporting his body as he crouched. 

He leaned towards the water once more to rinse the rag. Beomgyu hadn’t noticed how heavily he was leaning, relying entirely on the root to hold his weight, until the ground beneath him began to crumble away. In a hasty attempt to regain his balance, Beomgyu let go of the rag and twisted his body in order to grip onto the root with both hands. However, the root wasn’t as strong as Beomgyu had believed.

The exposed root snapped under Beomgyu’s weight. His bare feet, wet from crouching so close to the river and from the water dripping down his leg, slipped in the mud. Beomgyu plunged into the water.

* * *

When Beomgyu opened his eyes, he found himself back in the mechanic shop. He lay in the middle of the garage, in a spot that was constantly hit by sunlight during the day. His body felt warm. 

For an instant, Beomgyu wondered if he had dreamed the entire thing. But he slowly came to realize the clothes he wore were damp. The hair that fell on his face was also soaking. Beomgyu vaguely remembered returning to the mechanic shop, but the more he tried to focus on the memory, the more distant it seemed. 

Beomgyu blinked. His vision became blurry.

He blinked again. An overwhelming emotion filled him.

He blinked and tears rolled down the side of his face. They slid down his cheeks, towards his ears, into his hair.

He sat up and peeled off his clothes. He lay them in the sunlight, crying. The tears fell onto his already wet clothes.

Beomgyu continued to cry as he wrapped his naked body with the blue tarp. His breath was shaky. His eyes were squeezed shut. His fingers clenched the tarp, tightening by the second.

“A-am I any better off than b-before?” he cried to himself.

The boy’s remaining energy was used up crying. He fell asleep next to his damp clothes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone is still confused, this chapter takes place after the events of first chapter. For some reason, I had a lot of difficulty writing this chapter. I'm sure everyone expected the fourth chapter to be a continuation of the previous chapter, however, I thought it was important to examine things from Beomgyu's perspective. 
> 
> As the story progresses, I will be adding warnings at the beginning of the chapters! I'm still not too sure about how descriptive the writing will be, but I will definitely add warnings regardless.
> 
> Lastly, here are some lyrics from "Lost" by BTS that I kept in mind while writing this chapter:
> 
> _This is too hard, is this path right for me  
>  I am confused  
> Never leave me alone  
> I still want to believe even though it’s unbelievable  
> To lose your path  
> Is the way to find that path_


	5. Curious/Impulsive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: mention of blood towards the end of the chapter.

**5.**

Food was the first thing on Beomgyu’s mind after he woke up.

He sat up lazily and blinked away the drowsiness. His eyes were swollen after having fallen asleep while crying. The sadness that overcame him earlier had disappeared. It seemed like a good cry was what Beomgyu had needed to vent his emotions. 

Beomgyu scratched his head absentmindedly and stared off into the distance. It took a moment for him to remember that he was still nude, covered by only a blue tarp. He yawned while reaching over to feel his clothes. Both his shorts and t-shirt were completely dry and warm from being in the sun. Beomgyu slipped them on and stood up, walking unhurriedly towards the lobby of the mechanic shop.

He stuck his head out of the front door and saw that the sun was setting. He had only fallen asleep for a few hours. Returning to the garage, Beomgyu drank some water. His stomach was so empty, Beomgyu could physically feel the water travelling down his throat and into his stomach. The thought of food wandered back into his mind and his stomach rumbled loudly in response. It felt like his intestines were churning inside of him. 

Images of the food he had found in the dumpster played back in his mind like a photo montage. Fruit juice, tea, cookies, potato chips, egg sandwiches, hot dogs and a ton of other things Beomgyu hadn’t had the chance to discover. His mouth watered at the thought of being able to enjoy so much food. He briefly wondered why a business would throw away so many unopened food items, but he didn’t care enough to think about it for long. All Beomgyu cared about was getting his hands on that food.

Beomgyu pouted his lips and his short tail gently swayed from side to side as he thought. Judging by his calculations, a week had passed since he ran into the young man in that alleyway. Nothing unusual had occurred within that week. Beomgyu hadn’t sensed any strange people near the area of the shop either. There was a strong possibility that the young man had not made Beomgyu’s presence in the neighborhood known, such as reporting him to authorities. And it didn’t seem like the young man was searching for him either.

A dangerous thought began to creep into Beomgyu’s mind. He took it as a good sign that nobody had come looking for him. It possibly meant that seeing Beomgyu, a hybrid, had been insignificant to the young man. He brought his thumb nail to his lips, biting lightly with his canine tooth.

_What if I go back?_

He pulled his thumb out of his mouth and made a fist, pressing it against his lips, highly skeptical about his own idea. Beomgyu frowned as he debated with himself. He tried weighing the pros and cons of the idea. 

Pro: there was a chance of finding food. 

Con: he could be seen on the way there, he might be discovered in the dumpster by the young man (again), he could get lost trying to return to the mechanic shop (again), if something went wrong he might injure himself (again).

The disadvantages heavily outweighed the advantages. But after some time, all Beomgyu could visualize was food. His hunger clouded any and all of his rational thoughts.

Once he made up his mind, Beomgyu knew it was going to be difficult to change it. The urge to go back to that dumpster and dig out the treasure within it was too strong. He decided to wait a few more hours, until it was truly dark outside, to set out on his quest for food.

* * *

Retracing the way back to the alleyway turned out to be easier than he had expected. Back then, Beomgyu had a lot of trouble returning to the mechanic shop because the anxiety made it difficult to concentrate and heightened his confusion.

Now, on this night, Beomgyu remembered the crowded market street he had stumbled upon the other night and used this location as a reference. With an established checkpoint, Beomgyu was easily able to navigate the dark streets. He moved quietly, keeping his head down. 

Beomgyu consciously pressed his black ears against his head. They blended in with his dark hair and a passerby taking a quick glance at him wouldn’t be able to notice them at all. His short tail was tucked into his shorts, pressed against his lower back. His baggy t-shirt covered the outline of the tail. It was slightly uncomfortable to have his tail constrained within his shorts since it was almost always moving around according to his feelings or reactions, but Beomgyu would put up with the awkward feeling if it meant drawing less attention towards himself. 

He stuffed his fists into the pockets of his shorts and tried to ignore the increasingly cold weather. It was a huge problem for Beomgyu that all he had in terms of clothing were shorts, a t-shirt, and the underwear he wore, but he didn’t have the heart or guts to steal clothing. The thought of stealing made Beomgyu’s heart race and the repercussions of getting caught scared him even more. He had only taken the dish soap from that certain market stall because the old man attending it had gone to the bathroom.

The moon followed him as he walked. He wasn’t far from the alleyway now. Before, Beomgyu had noticed that this part of the town was especially quiet and was less active than other parts. For the average person or hybrid, the stillness of the street might have seemed eerie, but Beomgyu didn’t mind it. 

Beomgyu looked up at the sky, his messy bangs falling on either side of his face. Growing up, he had loved watching the moon as he fell asleep. He had vague memories of when he was young of someone telling him the moon was always watching over him as well. That the moon felt as much love towards him as he felt towards it. 

For a very long time, the moon had been the only thing Beomgyu felt love for.

Tearing his gaze off of the moon, Beomgyu refocused on his surroundings. At that time, a car drove past him, illuminating the area for a brief moment. Beomgyu realized he stood at the entrance of the alleyway. He turned his body towards the alley and smelled the air. The hybrid didn’t pick up anyone else’s scent. The coast was clear.

The further he advanced into the alley, the quieter his steps became. Part of the reason being that the thin layer of dirt on the ground softened his footsteps. But it was also due to the fact that Beomgyu was purposely slowing down, rethinking his decision to come here. 

One by one, memories of the first time he came to this alleyway began to resurface in Beomgyu’s mind. Nothing bad happened to him then. The young man had never touched him or hurt him. It was simply the not knowing of what would happen next that made the experience terrifying for Beomgyu. As he walked, Beomgyu felt as if his heart had grown claws and was making its way up his throat, wanting to escape.

The metal side of the dumpster glinted in the distance. Beomgyu’s ears slowly rose from his hair as his curiosity grew. Colored lights from the second floor of the neighboring building streaked the alley. He looked up to see a neon sign in the shape of a hand, its fingernails alternating between pink, blue, and yellow. Beomgyu walked through the light casted from the neon sign, nearing the back door of the store where the young man worked.

He paused once more at the door and took a look at the dumpster. That was when a white object set against the wall across from the dumpster caught Beomgyu’s eyes.

It rustled slightly in the breeze. Beomgyu realized it was a bag, propped up carefully and tied neatly. His ears pulled back inquisitively. The dumpster was forgotten as Beomgyu moved towards the plastic bag. A rich, savory smell wafted from the bag, making Beomgyu’s stomach churn. It didn’t take long for him to realize the bag was filled with food. Beomgyu closed the distance between him and the bag with incredible speed. 

He nimbly untied the knot that kept the bag closed and reached inside. Snacks, fruit, drinks, and even a cup of hot instant noodles. The bag was stuffed with all types of food. Beomgyu stared in disbelief, holding an apple in his right hand. Beomgyu glanced at the expiration date on one of the packaged items. It wouldn’t expire for another year. 

It wasn’t a bag full of trash. It was a bag full of food, safe to eat. What was this doing here? Did someone leave this behind? Why?

His nose twitched when it picked up the scent of the instant noodles. The noodles were still warm and as he dug into the bag, Beomgyu even found a pair of wooden chopsticks at the bottom. He really couldn’t understand why this bag of food was placed here. He couldn’t believe his eyes or his luck. Beomgyu’s eyes darted around the alleyway. Maybe someone had set this up for him as a trap. Beomgyu couldn’t help but feel suspicious. It never once crossed his mind that a certain person had left the food there just for him in order to help him. Nonetheless, he dug in.

After a few days of having not eaten, Beomgyu knew from experience not to eat too quickly or else he would end up getting sick. He tried his best not to inhale the noodles and drank from the water bottle calmly. There was nothing more satisfying to him than the sound of the apple crunching under his teeth as he bit into it. He popped open a bag of potato chips, eyes nearly rolling to the back of his head as the saltiness filled his mouth.

Beomgyu ate what he could and took the rest into his arms. Feeling like he had spent too much time already in one place, Beomgyu stood and left the alleyway. He decided to circle around the front of the buildings, keeping to the opposite side of the road. 

He readjusted the items in his arms as he walked down the sidewalk. Feeling better after having eaten, Beomgyu decided to take this chance to take a quick look at the store that the young man worked at. He walked past a tall brick building covered in vines and moss. Right next to this building was a smaller building with a slanted roof. Beomgyu slowed down to a full stop.

Moths fluttered around the outdoor light. Beomgyu squinted, trying to get a look of the inside of the store. It was hard to see from across the street, especially since the windows of this business were plastered with peeling posters. However, after some time, Beomgyu caught sight of a tall figure moving around inside. Beomgyu recognized the young man he met before.

The young man seemed to be sweeping. He was the only one in the store. Beomgyu saw that the store’s open sign was switched off and thought that the young man was probably heading home soon. He stood in the dark and watched the store for a bit longer. The young man continued with his tasks and never noticed that Beomgyu was outside his store. 

A strange thought crossed Beomgyu’s mind, so strange that Beomgyu frowned at himself. He had wondered briefly what would happen if he crossed the street and knocked on the door. What would happen if he made his presence known to the other boy? Beomgyu shook his head from side to side, wondering instead what had gotten into him.

He hugged the food tightly against his chest and walked away from the store. The young man continued to sweep.

* * *

Beomgyu didn’t fall asleep that night thinking he was going to return to the alleyway the next day. The thought didn’t cross his mind in the morning either. It wasn’t until around late afternoon, when he sat in the mechanic shop munching on some baby carrots, that Beomgyu contemplated returning to the alley.

It was the possibility of there being another bag of food that convinced Beomgyu to revisit the alleyway. He left late at night, like before, but this time he passed by the storefront before going to the alley. The store’s open sign was on, blinking periodically, but nobody was inside of the store. Beomgyu felt uneasy. He crossed the street to risk a closer glance.

The landing of the store was slightly raised off the ground, making Beomgyu stand on the tips of his toes to be able to peer inside. He teetered as he gazed into the store. Through the posters, Beomgyu couldn’t find the young man. He wasn’t cleaning like he had been last time. Beomgyu planted his feet steadily on the ground once again. He let out a nervous breath and headed down the street, turning the corner towards the alleyway.

Beomgyu stopped right before turning down the alley. He pressed his shoulder against the side of the building and peeked around the corner. Although the area was dimly lit, Beomgyu’s vision was better adapted to see in low light and he immediately caught sight of the young man’s tall figure. He felt his body stiffen, but he didn’t pull away and continued to watch the young man.

The young man was throwing away trash. A pile of black bags sat by his feet and one by one, he lifted them up and lugged them over the edge of the dumpster. As he lifted the last bag into the dumpster, a small, white plastic bag was revealed. It had been sitting behind the other bags, hidden from sight. The young man picked it up in one hand by the knotted handles and turned his back to the dumpster. He slowly placed the smaller bag onto the ground across from the dumpster and then turned back towards the back door of the store.

Beomgyu watched the young man disappear into the store, his mouth opening slightly in awe of what he had just witnessed. The person that had left the food behind the night before was none other than the same guy that discovered Beomgyu in the dumpster over a week ago. The gears in Beomgyu’s mind slowly turned as he processed this information. 

_I don’t understand...why is he leaving food in the alleyway? There’s no way he’s leaving it there for me, right? He had no way of knowing whether or not I would come back here...Did he- No, he never followed me. I’m sure he never went out to look for me and if he did, he never found me or the mechanic shop._

_Was he leaving food there and simply hoping I would come back one night? Is he an idiot? Hold on, why would he hope for me to come back here? Does he want something from me? Fuck. What now?_

Every type of scenario and possibility flashed through Beomgyu’s mind besides one—that this human boy was helping Beomgyu out of the goodness of his heart and wanted absolutely nothing in exchange but the knowledge that Beomgyu was healthy and safe. 

Even if someone had stood there and tried to thoroughly explain this possibility to Beomgyu, the stubborn and distrustful hybrid would have never believed that explanation. In Beomgyu’s world, nobody did anything to help him for the sake of simply helping. That just never happened. Beomgyu was more likely to believe that this strange guy was feeding him because he had a weird hybrid fetish and in exchange for helping Beomgyu, he wanted to smell the inside of his ear or something disgusting like that.

Beomgyu’s fingers dug into the side of the building. He debated whether to run into the alley and grab the food or to just leave and deny the young man’s satisfaction of knowing he had fed a hybrid for the night.

A howl traveled through the night air. Beomgyu jumped, his breath catching in his throat. He looked around rapidly, trying to locate the source of the sound. Down the street, Beomgyu spotted a group of rowdy friends making their way towards him. They laughed and mimicked more wolf howls while pushing each other around and filling up the entire width of the sidewalk. It instantly reminded Beomgyu of the time before, when a group of drunken men had stumbled around at the entrance of the alleyway and scared him away.

This time, Beomgyu hurriedly moved into the alley, seeking a space to hide before he crossed paths with the approaching group. He headed towards the middle of the alley, where the dumpster stood, and crouched on the side of the metal container that hid him from sight. He waited for a few moments, a hand over his heart in an attempt to calm himself down. Eventually, the group passed the alleyway and their noise gradually faded away.

When he no longer heard them, Beomgyu stood and stepped towards the plastic bag. He nudged it with his toe and pressed his lips together in thought. Now that he stood right in front of the bag, it was a lot harder to care about the young man's possible ulterior motives and a lot easier to focus on the idea of ripping the bag open and feasting on whatever was inside.

Of course, Beomgyu's stomach won.

The hybrid quickly enjoyed his meal and hugged whatever remained in his arms. Beomgyu didn't want to be there any longer than needed, so he promptly made his way back to the mechanic shop. 

He lay down in his usual corner, wrapped up in his blue tarp. With a full belly and a decent pile of extra food for the next day, Beomgyu felt comfortable and slightly hopeful for the first time in weeks. He closed his eyes and within minutes, Beomgyu began to dream…

_Strands of long, black hair tickled Beomgyu's face. He giggled. His small fist closed around a length of hair. He felt the softness of it and couldn't help but tug downwards._

_A joyful laugh filled his ears. The sound was so pleasing and gentle, encouraging and full of love. Beomgyu couldn't help but giggle some more. His laughter bubbled in his chest and he just couldn't hold it in. It felt so nice to laugh. It felt so nice to hear someone laughing along with him._

_"Beomgyu," the voice that called out to him was muted._

_It was as if it came from far, far away and Beomgyu had to piece the sounds together himself, resulting in a voice that was an echo of his own and of someone's he had known many years ago. They called him again. Even his name was spoken with tenderness._

_Beomgyu found himself in a car. He looked down at his fist. It was slightly bigger now and he held onto nothing. He looked up, out of the window. Dark landscape blurred past him. He couldn't make anything out besides tall, leafy trees._

_"Beomgyu," there was that voice again. Maybe he should pay attention._

_He replied. But his voice was garbled. He didn't actually hear himself say anything, but he responded to whoever was calling out to him._

_"Don't be scared," the voice sounded clearer then. Beomgyu tilted his head, confused._

I'm not scared, _no sound actually came out of him._

_"Yes, you are," Beomgyu realized the voice was distinctly feminine now. "It's okay to admit that you're scared. But do you know what to do when you feel that way?"_

_He knew the answer to this. It was something he had been asked multiple times before. What was he supposed to do when he felt scared? It was an easy answer. So, why couldn't he think of it now? Had he forgotten?_

_When he failed to respond, the female voice spoke again, "When you're scared, you ask for help, Beomgyu."_

_The car jolted suddenly. Beomgyu looked back outside, but the blurry landscape went on. Had they driven over something? He began to feel unsettled. Where were they going? Why were they going so fast? Was he scared?_

_Someone held his hand. He looked down once more. A lean hand closed around his fingers, squeezing them playfully. The thin, gold band the person wore felt cool against his warm skin. Beomgyu couldn't tear his gaze away from the white nail polish the person wore._

_"Mom," this time he heard his own voice. His nose began to itch, the telltale sign he was going to start crying at any moment. Beomgyu began to lift his eyes. He wanted to see his mother's face._

_"Stop, keep your eyes down. Don't look at me now, Beomgyu."_

_"Mom, let me, please. I don't remember what you look like. Let me see, please," Beomgyu managed amidst his sobs._

_"It's better if you don't remember," a drop of red landed on the back of his mother's hand. Blood. Beomgyu smeared it with one finger._

_"Mom-" she cut him off._

_"Beomgyu, go to him. After all of these years, after all you have gone through...can you promise your mom one last thing?"_

_He nodded._

_"Go to him. When you're afraid, you ask for help. Promise me you'll go to him."_

_More drops of blood fell onto the back of her hand, soaking her wedding band and tinting her white polish. Beomgyu tried to swipe the blood away, but he only made it worse. It got on his hands, on his clothes, under his nails. The smell of iron burned in his nose. Red. Everything was so red._

_"Do you promise?"_

_"Mom, I-I don't know who you're talking about. Please don't go. Please stay with me," his words were incoherent, but his mother understood him nonetheless._

_She gripped his hand harder. It was starting to hurt. Beomgyu wanted to cry for her to let go of him, that she was crushing his hand, but he didn't want her to leave him._

_The car swerved. Beomgyu slammed against the car door. His vision blurred. He couldn't hear his mom anymore. Someone else was speaking. A male. His voice was becoming louder and louder. Beomgyu's vision faded into complete darkness._

He woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter! I hope my recurring audience has a good time and enjoys the story as it progresses! Once again, I love, love reading your comments. It gives me that extra boost to keep writing :-)
> 
> ALSO! I made a new twitter account especially for writing and posting updates on my stories. Feel free to follow me there if you'd like to perhaps discuss the story more in depth or just to cry over how amazing TXT is (Stream Puma MV!!!) You can find my new account [here.](https://twitter.com/writegyu)


	6. Negotiations

**6.**

Beomgyu opened his eyes abruptly. He instantly sensed that someone else was in the mechanic shop.

There was no time to hesitate. He didn’t have time to think about his nightmare. There was no time to look around and get a look at whoever was in the shop. Beomgyu was in a vulnerable position, at risk of being seen at any second. 

His arm shot out from under the blue tarp and swept the pile of food towards him, dispersing it messily next to his body. Beomgyu pressed his back against the wall, curling his legs as close to his chest as possible and linking his arms around his legs in an attempt to make himself smaller. He covered himself with the tarp and tucked the edge under his head. Beomgyu held his breath while he listened, his heart pumping at an alarming rate.

“This place is a disaster,” the voice rang clearly throughout the garage. Beomgyu’s breath hitched as he realized this was the male voice that had infiltrated his sleep. He squeezed his eyes shut, nails digging into his own skin.

“It’s fucking disgusting in here and look, they left all of their goddamn equipment behind. What the fuck, this is going to be so difficult to clean up,” the man’s voice became muffled, as if he had covered his face. 

“Yes, this property has been abandoned for many years. After the previous owner passed away, none of the family members wanted to keep up with this place and just let it fall apart. As you know, it was only recently that the youngest son decided to sell the property,” another man’s voice sounded through the shop. 

Beomgyu strained his ears. He had never heard either of these voices before, however this didn’t make him feel any better. A moment of silence passed, but he didn’t hear any footsteps, meaning neither of the men were moving further into the garage. If the men continued standing by the door to the lobby there was a good chance they wouldn’t notice the large lump that was Beomgyu’s body laying in the far corner. 

“The state of this place is horrible. Is there any way I can negotiate the price down more? There’s no way in hell I’m paying that son of bitch that much after I’ve actually seen this shit hole,” the first man coughed. “So much dust,” he mumbled to himself. 

“Ah, yes, it may be possible. But Mister, allow me to point out that properties in this area sell for millions more than what the family originally asked for. This location is incredibly sought after and if you look around more closely, you’ll find that this building has amazing potential. Tall ceilings, large windows for maximum natural lighting, there is even some yard space out front for outside seating. This could be the most popular and successful high-end restaurant that you’re dreaming of!” 

The second man’s voice was enthusiastic and encouraging. Beomgyu heard him moving around, shards of glass and broken pieces of wood cracking and snapping under his shoes. The first man seemed to be contemplating what had been said.

“Mm, now that you mention it...yes, yes,” he continued mumbling to himself, his voice too low for Beomgyu to be able to make out what he was saying. 

“I can contact the family and try to negotiate a lower price, but Mister, it would be a good idea to act quickly. I’m afraid at least three others have already inquired about this property,” the second man seemed to be moving closer to where Beomgyu was. His voice was louder than before and Beomgyu began to pick up an unfamiliar scent from under the tarp. He clenched his jaw and braced himself in case he was discovered.

“Forget negotiating, I’ll give them whatever they want for this place. The sooner I sign the contract the better. I’m not letting some other bastard snatch this property up and ruin my plans of opening my luxurious restaurant,” the first man spoke gruffly. “I want to come back at the end of the week with my team and take a better look at this place, But, for god’s sake, I’ve had enough for today. Let’s leave.”

The first man stepped out of the garage into the lobby and the second man followed behind him, his steps gradually moving farther away from the spot where Beomgyu was curled up under the tarp. 

Beomgyu didn’t dare move. He stayed under the tarp even when it became hot and suffocating because of his own body heat. Beomgyu didn’t move a muscle even when his legs began to cramp up from being curled up for so long and his fingers became slippery with sweat. His tail pressed itself against his lower back. If it were longer, it would’ve been tucked between his legs. His black ears were pulled back, revealing the pink skin inside, as he listened intently for any other noises. 

He wasn’t sure how much time passed. Beomgyu waited and waited. Finally, he heard the unmistakable sound of a car engine starting up. Seconds later, two car doors slammed shut. Tires crunched the loose gravel underneath and the car drove away from the mechanic shop. Beomgyu allowed himself to untuck the edge of the tarp from underneath his head and look out into the garage.

The crisp air felt amazing against his face. Beomgyu took a deep breath, filling his lungs with the cold air. His eyes scanned the area. The light inside the shop was golden. He had slept late into the afternoon without meaning to. Had he not sensed that someone else was in the mechanic shop, Beomgyu might have slept all day. Once he confirmed he was the only one in there, Beomgyu uncovered himself completely, tossing the tarp to the side.

He stretched his arms and legs before sitting back down and reaching over to the food he had scattered earlier. Beomgyu began piling everything neatly in front of him. As he leaned forward to grab a bottle of water that had rolled away, he realized he was shaking. His fingers closed over the plastic. Beomgyu watched as the water moved unsteadily while in his hand. 

The mechanic shop was being sold. From the conversation between the two men, Beomgyu learned that the gruff sounding man was planning to purchase the shop and turn it into a restaurant. They would be returning at the end of the week with more people to look at the place again.

Beomgyu understood he now had a deadline. Within a few days, he had to look for a new place to stay. The mechanic shop was no longer a safe place for him.

The plastic bottle crinkled in his grip. He should have known finding a place like the mechanic shop would be too good to be true. Did he really think he would be able to stay there for the rest of his life, living off scraps and suffering in the cold? Had he really been convinced that this abandoned place was his safe haven? Was he honestly stupid enough to hope he could make a home here while living in constant fear of being found? 

Beomgyu’s grip on the bottle tightened. He grit his teeth, his canines digging into his bottom lip and piercing the delicate skin. He swung his arm back and hurled the bottle across the shop. The impact of the bottle against the concrete wall caused the lid to burst off, spraying water all over the ground.

Something welled in his chest. It was an intense sensation, like a toxic cloud of poison boiling and expanding in his ribcage. He couldn’t stand it any longer. For the first time in his life, Beomgyu allowed himself to scream with rage. He opened his mouth, a hoarse, gritty wail emerging from his frail body. 

Anger consumed him. His body grew hot. It was inexplicable and the madness coursed through him. Beomgyu swept his hand across the space in front of him, knocking over the neat pile he had been working on. He stood suddenly and snatched up an iron bar about the length of his forearm.

He was momentarily blinded by the strong emotions he felt. Beomgyu swung the iron bar without caution, hitting anything and everything around him. Smashing glass. Chipping wood. Clanging metal equipment until it dented. He hit the wall so hard, chunks of concrete cracked off and fell by his feet. Beomgyu yelled more. It was a broken sound, his voice cracking the more he screamed. He wasn’t used to being loud. For years, Beomgyu had been disciplined to be quiet, to endure and suffer and never voice his displeasure or defiance. If he was loud, he was silenced. He was accustomed to swallowing all of his pain.

The episode of rage quickly drained him. He gradually stopped hitting items around him. Eventually, he stopped completely, the hand holding tightly onto the iron bar hung limply by his side. He was out of breath, his chest rising and falling rapidly. His eyes burned, but no tears fell from them. He stood alone in the middle of the shop, surrounded by the wreck he created. 

Beomgyu dropped the iron bar. It clattered loudly against the ground. It was then that his knees gave out. He fell to the ground and crumpled in on himself, forehead touching the cold ground. He wrapped his hands around the back of his neck and tried to steady his breathing. 

_"When you're scared, you ask for help, Beomgyu."_

Without warning, the phrase he had heard in his dream entered his mind. 

Beomgyu had been so preoccupied earlier by thoughts of the two men and what he would do now that he couldn’t stay at the mechanic shop, that he forgot about his dream. He couldn’t remember the details of it anymore. The dream became more vague the harder he tried to focus on what had happened. However, Beomgyu knew his mother had appeared before him.

Thinking of his mother made him feel as if he had been pierced in the heart by a thousand arrows. He could recall her warm laugh, her soft hair, her gentle touch. Beomgyu could easily remember his mother squeezing him tightly or holding his hand when they were in a crowded place. He knew she used to play with him, eat with him, sleep with him. His mother had loved him more than anyone else in the world and had demonstrated her love to him in many ways. But no matter how hard he tried, no matter how much Beomgyu strained his memory in an effort to remember, he could not picture his mother’s face at all. 

It pained him that he wasn’t able to recall her features, that all he knew about her was what she did for him. Whenever he thought of his mother, he thought of her hands or her hair, but could never remember her eyes or her smile. 

Even in his dreams, his mother’s face was never revealed to him. She always warned him to look away, to not look directly at her face. It made Beomgyu wonder if he had ever seen his mother’s face at all or if his mind was guarding something from him, perhaps something that would be best not remembered.

Beomgyu tightened his hands around the back of his neck, fingertips pressing against his vertebrae. He was having a hard time recalling his mother's exact words, but he knew something about a promise had been mentioned. Had she made him promise something? What had he promised to do? Was it a promise to…

...go to someone?

Something clicked in Beomgyu's memory. A small fragment of the dream returned to him. It replayed clearly in his mind. While Beomgyu’s mother had held tightly onto his hand, she had made him promise he would go to someone and ask for help. She wanted Beomgyu to ask for help from “him”.

_Him?_

Beomgyu’s head began to hurt the more he mulled over his dream. He stood slowly and took a look around the mechanic shop, at the chaos he was responsible for, at the blue tarp he had used for weeks as protection and as a blanket for warmth. Finally, his eyes swept over the scattered food items on the ground - the food given to him by a stranger he had met only once. And for some reason, he couldn’t tear his gaze away. 

_Oh._

The young man from the alleyway.

_Him._

Beomgyu turned towards the lobby and left the shop.


	7. Take Your Time, I'll Wait For You Pt. 1

**7.**

The few people Beomgyu encountered on his way to the alleyway all shot him strange looks as he passed.

He knew why. He hadn’t taken any precautions in hiding his animal features before leaving the mechanic shop. His ears were perked up, poking through his tangled hair and his tail wasn’t confined in the waistband of his shorts, but instead sticking straight out from underneath his t-shirt. Take into account the crazed look in his eyes, his ragged outfit, as well as the various bruises and scratches on his arms and legs, Beomgyu was definitely a sight to behold. 

His bare feet slapped against the sidewalk as he walked. 

_Go to him. Go to him. Go to him._

Beomgyu repeated this short phrase in his mind over and over. He hoped that if he said it to himself for long enough, he could somehow hypnotize himself into approaching the young man directly and ask for his help. However, his mantra didn’t seem to be working. The hybrid became increasingly anxious the closer he got to the alleyway. 

His palms were cold and sweaty. He tried wiping them on his shorts, but the clamminess remained. The queasy feeling in his gut also grew stronger. Beomgyu gripped onto the fabric over his stomach, bunching up the shirt in his fist. Thoughts of turning back and returning to the shop intruded his mind. He tried to ignore them by thinking of his mother and what she had made him promise. Beomgyu tried to reason with himself that this had to be done because soon the shop would no longer be the place he could run to when he needed to hide.

_What if it goes wrong? What if you ask him for help and he refuses? What if he wants to keep you? You could just be walking into a trap. You could end up just like before. Chained. Punished. Starved. Put to work until you are so exhausted you lose consciousness. What if what he wants from you is worse? What if-_

"Shut up, shut up!" Beomgyu growled, gripping onto his head. He had to get rid of these thoughts. They buried any and all hope that maybe this might be a good decision, that maybe this could be what changed Beomgyu's life for the better.

He continued walking, fighting the urge to turn back. When Beomgyu arrived at the alleyway, he quietly crouched by a wall of plastic crates piled against the building and looked down the alley. The young man was standing by the dumpster, tossing some more trash away. Beomgyu was surprised to see him. He lost his balance and had to reach out, pressing his palm firmly against the ground to keep from falling over. 

More than half of his body was now sticking out from behind the plastic crates. However, Beomgyu didn’t hide himself again. He stuck out and watched the young man throw away trash. The street was quiet. No cars, no large groups of drunk people. The area was quiet enough that Beomgyu could hear the young man singing. 

His voice was carried by the wind, travelling through the alleyway. It was gentle and pleasant. The lyrics didn’t make a lot of sense to Beomgyu and then he realized the young man was probably singing in another language. Hearing him sing again reminded Beomgyu of the first they had met, nearly two weeks ago.

During that time, Beomgyu had been crouched inside of the dumpster, doing his best to not be discovered. The young man had exited the store and tossed trash bags into the dumpster, not knowing someone was in there. He had been singing, much more loudly than he was now. His singing had been animated, full of energy and happiness. Beomgyu was amused by his singing. He suddenly wished to hear more of it.

The young man began to turn in Beomgyu’s direction. In a panic, Beomgyu quickly pressed himself against the wall in order to not be seen.

_Go! Go over there! That’s what you came here to do, you idiot! Now’s your chance to approach him, go! What are you waiting for?_

But he couldn’t do it. His legs froze and refused to move. Beomgyu’s heart pumped against his chest so rapidly he grew scared it would burst right through his ribcage. The brick scraped his skin, but he kept pressing against the wall, grateful for the sturdy support. Beomgyu squeezed his eyes shut and waited. He heard the young man toss one more bag of trash into the dumpster and then unlock the back door of the general store, disappearing inside and leaving the alley empty.

Beomgyu felt a huge amount of pressure lifted from his shoulders. He slid to the ground, his t-shirt riding up against his back. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy. Trusting a stranger was impossible for Beomgyu. No matter how much he tried to convince himself that not everybody was bad, that not everybody could possibly be like his owners, it was still difficult for him to believe in that.

He exhaled loudly. He had been holding his breath for a long time. Beomgyu stood shakily, leaning most of his weight against the wall to keep from falling over. He hadn’t realized how scared he was by the thought of going up to the young man. Watching him from afar was no problem, but Beomgyu now understood how hard it was going to be to work up the courage to walk down that alleyway and go near the young man.

The hybrid cast another look down the alleyway and caught sight of a familiar white plastic bag. He stepped cautiously towards the bag and untied it. Like before, he gathered the food items and left the area.

_Tomorrow. I’ll come back tomorrow._

* * *

Beomgyu didn’t sleep well that night.

He kept thinking about the young man. He kept imagining all the things that could go wrong when he finally approached him. Not only that, but Beomgyu couldn’t forget the two men that had been in the mechanic shop earlier that day. He was afraid someone else would show up at the shop and take him by surprise. 

Beomgyu tapped his foot incessantly. He kept placing his fingertips by his mouth, wanting to bite his nails but pulling his hand away before doing so. He had a very bad habit of biting his nails and had never properly gotten over it. To keep himself from sticking his fingers in his mouth, Beomgyu squeezed his hands into fists and placed them under his thighs. 

At some point, Beomgyu managed to doze off. When he opened his eyes, gray light seeped into the mechanic shop. It was early morning. A lone bird chirped right outside the garage. Beomgyu stood, his limbs stiff from sleeping in an awkward position. 

The day passed terribly slowly. Beomgyu didn’t know what to do with himself. Around noon, he began to clean up the mess he had made the night before. He was careful not to cut himself with the broken glass, using a weathered, grease stained rag to pick up the shards. However, despite being very careful, he ended up getting a splinter from a piece of wood and spent a good part of his day trying to figure out a way to remove it effectively. 

Eventually, the sun went down and Beomgyu went to the alleyway.

His plan was to eat the food the young man left for him and then wait. He would sit by the dumpster until the young man got out of work and then go up to him and hope everything worked out from there. 

And Beomgyu did eat the food. He did sit by the dumpster and wait. But he didn’t wait long enough. When he noticed that the neon sign hung from the window of the neighboring building was shut off, Beomgyu began to feel antsy. It was nearing the time that the young man would also close his store and exit the building. 

That night, Beomgyu wasn’t able to wait for the young man. Once again, he grew too anxious and couldn’t force himself to stay put. He got up from his spot and ran down the alleyway just as the door of the general store was pushed open. Beomgyu rounded the corner before the young man could see him. He jogged the rest of the way to the mechanic shop without looking back.

Beomgyu was growing frustrated with himself. He couldn’t wait any longer to approach the young man. Any day now the man that was buying the mechanic shop would reappear and possibly discover that Beomgyu had been living there. 

By realizing that he was more afraid of being discovered by that man than he was of talking to the boy from the store, Beomgyu became determined to finally meet with the young man.

* * *

Although it was not promised that the young man would agree to help him, Beomgyu still bid farewell to the mechanic shop. He stood outside and swept his gaze over the building, silently thanking the inanimate object for providing him shelter. Whatever happened tonight, whether or not the young man was open to the idea of helping, Beomgyu would not be returning to the mechanic shop. It was too risky. The hybrid boy knew it was time to move on.

He arrived at the alleyway late at night. The young man had already dropped off the plastic bag filled with food, but Beomgyu did not touch it. He sat by the dumpster and hugged his legs, watching the white plastic rustle in the breeze. The food the young man had been leaving for him had piled up and Beomgyu had been eating well for the past few days. He wasn’t hungry at that moment, partially because he had eaten earlier and partially because he was incredibly nervous. 

Beomgyu tried his best to ignore the voice in his head telling him to get out of there. He wanted to believe that the young man posed no real threat. After all, although the young man knew fully well that Beomgyu was stopping by the alleyway every night, he never waited for or tried to approach Beomgyu. 

Nonetheless, Beomgyu couldn’t stop speculating that perhaps the young man wanted something in return for the food. It just didn’t make sense to him that this complete stranger would go out of their way to gift him something. Beomgyu was nothing to him. If anything, shouldn’t the young man be cautious of the hybrid? Beomgyu had done his best to appear aggressive in front of the young man hoping he would be scared off. Had his attempt to seem dangerous not worked?

Beomgyu pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. He was just making himself more confused and nervous. A cold breeze blew through the alleyway, making him shiver. How much time had passed? Beomgyu peered past the dumpster and realized the neon sign from next door had been shut off. His eyes widened. The young man would soon be leaving the store. His business and the businesses nearby all closed around the same time. Beomgyu felt himself shrink into the shadows.

He flinched when he heard a door open. It closed loudly, followed by the sound of a door knob being twisted back and forth. Beomgyu felt like his eyes were going to pop out of their sockets. He covered his mouth with his palm to keep himself from making noise. Now that the young man was so near to him, Beomgyu couldn’t bring himself to stand up. He couldn’t even think clearly, his mind occupied with a jumble of panicked and unintelligible thoughts.

The dumpster hid him well. Beomgyu took comfort in the thought that if he didn’t move the young man would probably never see him. But that wasn’t what he was there to do. He wasn’t there to hide. He was there to approach the young man and speak to him, to ask for help because Beomgyu was lost in life and he needed to reach out to someone desperately. 

Beomgyu pounded his fist against his leg, willing himself to get the hell up. He pressed a palm against the wall behind him and slowly rose from the ground, still sticking close to the side of the dumpster. He heard the young man picking up the bag of food. Beomgyu knew he was probably wondering why he hadn’t eaten the food, if he had stopped by at all. 

_Well, surprise, I’m right here._

Beomgyu shuffled forward, not even able to lift his feet properly from the ground. The uneven ground scraped the bottom of his feet as he moved, but Beomgyu didn’t notice at all. His eyes were glued onto the young man who stood not even 2 meters away from him. The young man slowly turned to face him, realizing someone else stood in the alleyway. Beomgyu swallowed roughly. His throat was drier than it had ever been before. 

Nobody spoke for a long time. Beomgyu had been barely capable of showing himself to the young man. Talking to him seemed utterly impossible. 

The young man was tall, very tall. Beomgyu hadn’t noticed that before. The first time he saw him, Beomgyu had been standing inside of a dumpster that was much taller than the young man. The times after, Beomgyu had been watching the young man from far away. It was only now that they stood face to face that he was able to compare properly. Not only was he tall, he was also quite broad. Beomgyu immediately realized that if the young man tried anything, Beomgyu might not be able to fight him off. The young man far outweighed him and was most likely much stronger.

Beomgyu grew restless. He stepped from one foot to the other, fighting the instinct to turn his body a few degrees and sprint down the alleyway.

“Y-you’re here,” the young man broke the silence. He was gazing at Beomgyu intently, as if he couldn’t believe the hybrid was standing before him.

Beomgyu hesitated. He realized he hadn’t rehearsed what he was going to say to the young man. Now, he stood there and stared back blankly, at a loss for words. _Shit._

The young man briefly licked his lips, “How are you? I mean, are you okay? Is everything okay? You- have you been picking up the food?"

The young man’s foot inched forward, as if he wanted to approach Beomgyu. Beomgyu quickly caught sight of the movement and moved backwards. The young man tilted his head in confusion before realizing what he had done. He lifted his hands in an apologetic gesture, showing he meant no harm. Beomgyu only narrowed his eyes.

“What do you want from me?” Beomgyu spoke suddenly.

The young man’s brow creased, “I’m sorry, what?”

“Why are you leaving this food here?” Beomgyu pointed at the white bag in the young man’s hand.

“The food? I’m leaving it here so you can have it. It’s for you to eat…” the young man trailed off, believing his intentions were straight forward and didn’t need an explanation. 

“So, what do you want?” Beomgyu’s voice came out harshly. He was trying to make up for the fact that he still felt terrified in the face of the young man. Maybe if he feigned that he wasn’t scared his anxiety would lessen.

“Huh? What do I want? I don’t understand-” the young man grew increasingly confused. He shook his head slightly, trying to make sense of what Beomgyu was trying to tell him. 

Beomgyu cut him off, “You’re giving me this food, so you must want something in return. What is it?”

Something passed over the young man’s face. Beomgyu couldn’t understand his expression. There were hints of disbelief and sadness. Even something that resembled anger flashed across his features for a split second. The knot in Beomgyu’s stomach grew tighter. He didn’t know where this was going.

“I don’t want anything in return.” the young man spoke firmly.

Up until now, the young man had been carrying himself without confidence, speaking softly and often stuttering. His posture was slumped, as if he were unconsciously making himself seem smaller in order to not intimidate the hybrid. However, after being asked by Beomgyu what he wanted in return for the food, something about the young man changed. 

He met Beomgyu’s eyes and responded loudly and clearly, “The first time we met, you were in that dumpster digging around for something to eat. I thought about you afterwards, after you left this place, and I worried that you didn’t have food. So, I started leaving these bags for you because nobody should have to dig through trash in order to feed themselves. I don’t want anything from you. I’m just doing this because I want to help you.”

_He just wants to help me._

Beomgyu was awestruck by the realization. The angry facade that masked his unease fell away, revealing what he was truly feeling. Beomgyu’s ears and tail drooped and he nervously bit the inside of his cheek. He couldn’t reply right away. It seemed so unreal to him that someone would be so willing to help him—a dirty, unapproachable, and homeless dog hybrid. It was Beomgyu’s turn to stutter.

“I-I’m sorry, I got the wrong idea,” he gazed downwards and cleared his throat. “Thank you,” his voice was nothing more than a whisper.

The young man remained silent. Beomgyu couldn’t bring himself to look back up. There was another brief moment in which neither of them spoke. The two boys stood across from each other, not knowing exactly what to do next. 

After a moment, the young man moved forward, towards Beomgyu. Beomgyu didn’t back away this time. The young man’s grip on the plastic bag loosened. It dangled from his fingertips. Beomgyu looked back up and met the young man’s eyes. The young man invited him to take the bag by holding it out to him. 

As Beomgyu reached out to take the bag, the young man spoke, “You never answered my question from before.” 

“What question?” Beomgyu held onto the knot that tied the bag closed. His fingers briefly brushed the young man’s as they exchanged the bag. 

“Are you okay?” 

There it was. The question Beomgyu never remembered being asked before. He opened his mouth to respond but nothing came out. Beomgyu couldn’t look away from the young man, from his gentle eyes and his brow creased in worry. Beomgyu wondered how he could have ever been so scared of this boy. This boy who for the past week had been purchasing food for him and letting him eat it and take whatever he wanted. This boy who had discovered Beomgyu in the dumpster and only showed concern over his well being. 

Beomgyu’s nose began to itch, the telltale sign that he was going to cry. He slowly began to shake his head from side to side.

“No,” he began. “I’m not okay.”

“Tell me what’s wrong,” the young man nodded reassuringly. 

“I don’t have anywhere to live,” Beomgyu’s breath shuddered. Tears began to form in his eyes, making his vision blurry. “Can you help me? I’m scared of being found. I need to hide, just for a few days, not long. I just, I just-”

“Hey, hey,” the young man saw tears glistening in the hybrid’s eyes. 

“The place where I was staying before, it’s being bought by some man. And-and I can’t stay there any longer because I don’t want them to know I was living there. I just need somewhere to sleep for a day or two while I look for another spot to hide. After that, I’ll leave you alone and I promise you’ll never have to help me again,” Beomgyu messily wiped away at the tears that streaked his face.

The young man responded in a hushed tone, “I’ll help you in any way that I can, I promise. Whatever you need, wherever you need to go, anything at all, I’ll do my best to help you.”

Beomgyu’s eyes shone as he looked at the young man. It felt as if a metal weight had been removed from his chest. His body felt light, anxiety and sadness replaced with hope and gratefulness.

“You can stay at my apartment if you’d like,” the young man placed his palm on his chest, “It’s a little cramped, honestly, but it’s a comfy place. You can stay there as long as you need.”

“Thank you,” Beomgyu clenched the plastic bag with all his force. He was delighted, ecstatic even, that the young man was so kind and agreed to help him, but it wasn’t easy for Beomgyu to show it. All he could do was mumble his appreciation and dry his tears.

An unusually strong gust of wind blew through the alleyway. It was frigid and pierced right through Beomgyu’s thin clothing. He turned his back to the wind in an attempt to lessen its impact and winced as another rush of air hit him. This didn’t go unnoticed by the young man. He immediately peeled off his jacket and offered it to the hybrid. Beomgyu hesitated, but the young man insisted. He even reached over and took the bag of food from Beomgyu’s hand so that Beomgyu could slip the jacket over his thin body. 

Beomgyu pulled it on. The jacket was warm from the young man’s body heat. The jacket felt so nice, but it was much too big and engulfed Beomgyu, making him seem a lot smaller and thinner than he already was. Beomgyu tugged it tighter against his body to keep the cold air out completely and gazed up at the young man, who was watching him. There was a small smile on his lips. When he realized Beomgyu was looking back at him, he looked away politely while rubbing his arms.

“We should go now?” Beomgyu ended what was meant to be a statement in a questioning tone. 

He knew that the young man might not feel cold now, but after some time he might not be able to withstand the winter-like weather without his jacket. The young man agreed and began leading the way out of the alleyway. Once they stepped out onto the street, the young man continued hesitantly. Beomgyu could tell something was still on his mind, but he didn’t say anything.

They walked slowly for a few minutes, Beomgyu purposely leaving a slight gap between them and following from a few steps behind. He paid close attention to the path they were taking. The young man didn't make any sudden turns or take Beomgyu down dark and empty streets. The way to his apartment was easy to follow. The two boys passed a few memorable landmarks, such as a park with a colorful playground, a tall wall with a mural of cartoonish animals, and finally, they stepped onto the pedestrian bridge at the river. 

As they were passing over the river, the young man stopped briefly, turning to look back at Beomgyu. Beomgyu felt his tail rise slowly and his ears angling towards the young man, relaying his curiosity. 

“Can I ask you one more question?” the young man asked and Beomgyu nodded. “What’s your name?”

The question caught Beomgyu off guard and he replied without thinking, "Dog-" but he quickly cut himself off, realizing his mistake. 

For so many years Beomgyu had been referred to as “dog” or “you” by his owners. He’d gotten used to it. The only person alive that called him by his real name was himself. It was embarrassing to have slipped up like that and said that ugly nickname out loud. He hated it so much. When his owners had called him a dog, it had made him feel like a monster. The way they said it, the way they looked at him with so much disgust and hatred. They treated him like a beast, as if he was not capable of having thoughts and emotions of his own and only lived to serve them. 

He quickly corrected himself, wanting to get the bad taste out of his mouth, "My name is Beomgyu.”

“Beomgyu,” the young man tried out the hybrid boy’s name. Beomgyu felt a fluttering sensation in his stomach hearing his real name come out of someone else’s mouth. “I’m Choi Soobin,”

“Choi Soobin,” Beomgyu repeated while tilting his head, his ears following the movement of his head. He didn’t realize it, but his tail was slowly swaying from side to side, communicating the contentment Beomgyu couldn’t express through words.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Beomgyu,” Soobin smiled kindly.

Beomgyu and Soobin continued on their way to the apartment building in comfortable silence. Something had shifted between the two boys once they introduced themselves. It was a very slight difference from before, almost undetectable, but one couldn’t deny that the two boys were becoming familiar with each other. Soobin, who for the past couple weeks had been thinking about Beomgyu and his safety, and Beomgyu, who had been suspicious of Soobin but in the end sought him out for help. They had occupied each other’s minds without realizing and their interest towards each other could only grow stronger. 

The anxiety and tenseness that had overcome Beomgyu earlier was significantly lessened, however he still couldn’t relax completely. Beomgyu continued to be apprehensive of what was yet to come. Being enclosed in an apartment with Soobin, who was still a stranger nonetheless, did make Beomgyu nervous. Years of trauma and abuse couldn’t be forgotten in a matter of moments or by a few instances of kindness. 

He could feel himself start to tremble when a cluster of apartment buildings came into view. Soobin slowed down a bit, coming closer to Beomgyu, and pointed at one building. He told Beomgyu that was where his apartment was located and led the way towards it. Beomgyu took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. He clutched the ends of his sleeves and followed slowly behind Soobin.

The two boys walked into the apartment building and took a short, yet tense ride in the elevator up to Soobin’s floor. Beomgyu didn’t have any memories of ever being inside an elevator before and was extremely taken aback when the elevator began to rise. He braced himself and instantly reached out for the wall, his stance radiating total surprise and displeasure. Soobin noticed, immediately apologizing for not asking whether Beomgyu wanted to use the stairs or elevator. Beomgyu simply shook his head, wishing the elevator would stop soon.

The doors opened on the third floor. The boys promptly walked out of the elevator. Beomgyu felt shaky. His steps didn't feel solid on the ground as he followed Soobin down the hallway. They walked nearly to the end of the hallway. Soobin stopped in front of a door and unlocked it. The reality of what was happening struck Beomgyu hard, but there was no turning back anymore. He stepped into the apartment after Soobin.

The apartment door closed behind them.


End file.
